I’m postponing sex with my new bloke because I fear my scars might put him off

DEAR DEIDRE: MY new boyfriend wants to make love to me, but cancer surgery has left me shy about my body.

I’ve also put on a lot of weight because of the drugs and I’ve lost my confidence.

I’m a 55-year-old woman who got divorced five years ago. My new boyfriend is 59.

Before I got breast cancer, I was married to the same man for 25 years. He couldn’t cope with my illness, and our marriage fell apart.

Both breasts were removed and I had reconstructive surgery.

My breasts don’t look like they used to, and there are scars.

Earlier this year, I plunged back into the dating scene and met a lovely man. But now we’ve met up a few times, and he wants to have sex.

I want that too but I keep making excuses.

I’m also very self-conscious about my wobbly belly, thighs and hips.
My fear is that he’ll reject me once he sees my body.

How can I get my confidence back?

DEIDRE SAYS:  It’s natural to feel insecure when you haven’t been intimate for a long time.

This worry is amplified because you’ve been through surgery, and your body has changed. But this man clearly likes you and wants intimacy.

Go slowly. Maybe tell him you feel a little nervous.

Perhaps keep the lighting dim for now?

My support pack, Building Self-Esteem, may help your confidence.

Pictures posed by models.