25 Tweets That Perfectly Sum Up Life With 9-Year-Olds
Kids change so much from one year to the next, with each passing birthday bringing new challenges — and humorous moments — for their parents.
At the age of nine, kids continue to become more independent while also developing their own unique personalities. And as their parents’ tweets suggest, there’s a fair dose of sassiness and creativity, too.
We’ve rounded up 25 funny and all-too-real tweets that capture the essence of life with a nine-year-old.
Excellent news! My 9YO is half way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) June 20, 2022
My 9yo son as I dropped him off at school, "time to make some money!" Apparently he's selling his Halloween candy to the kids who aren't allowed to have candy at home.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) November 3, 2022
9yo, after giving my husband a heartfelt handmade Father's Day card: "They made us do that for school, that wasn't my idea."
— SpacedMom (@copymama) June 20, 2022
My 9yo just told me:
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) January 12, 2021
Thank you, Catherine Obvious.
I’m not correcting her.
9yo and the neighbour children invited us to watch their “play,” which consisted of 9yo saying, “thank you all for coming tonight, please turn off your devices” and then all of them whacking each other with plastic lightsabers in ways that made the adults wince. High art.
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) September 7, 2020
Sometimes I worry that my 9 year old is too sweet for this fucked up world, but she looked at my face and said, "I didn't know you could be old AND get a pimple" so it turns out she'll be fine.
— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) September 2, 2019
My 9-year-old fact checks my “No. Absolutely not” by asking the same question 78 more times.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 18, 2022
9-year-old: Dad! Dad! Dad!
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 22, 2022
Me: I'm in the middle of something. Is it important?
9: This kiwi looks like a butt. pic.twitter.com/1CPSDZIAgz
9-year-old: I still use that tip you gave me about putting on pants…make sure the tag is at the back.
— Andrew Knott (@aknott21) August 20, 2021
Some advice is truly timeless.
I thought I put my 9 year old to bed hours ago and he just casually walked out of the playroom and said, “Think I’ll go to bed now, I’m beat.”
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) May 14, 2019
It’s 11:15 pm.
Having your 9 year old daughter pack for a sleepover is a great idea, as long as you're fine with her taking 17 stuffed unicorns and no socks.
— Stabbatha Christy (@LoveNLunchmeat) October 6, 2018
My 9 year old has wanted to bake a cake for weeks and today after I finished work we finally did it. Being so busy means it’s easy to forget about making memories with my kids - I can tell she loved every four minutes of it before she went to watch TV and left me to do it all
— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) November 24, 2022
9-year-old: Do I have to go to my sister's choir concert?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 16, 2022
Me: Yes.
9: Can I boo?
You think that parenting is going to be all cute quotes and funny memories then you sit down for dinner and your 9yo asks you what you know about the dark web.
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) April 26, 2020
My 9yo, "it's so hard being a good person." He said this while he did what I asked him to do which was to pick up his mess.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) October 1, 2022
*paper airplane buzzes my shoulder*
— Richard Dean (@dad_on_my_feet) December 8, 2020
Me:
9yo: Sorry Daddy, I was aiming for your head
I was helping my 9yo son clean his room and commented "You have way too much stuff!"
— Mediha (@mediha_m) May 22, 2020
He says "I don't have money. I didn't buy any of this stuff."
Son :1
Mommy: 0
it's safer for me to stick my arm in a beehive than try to talk to my 9yo when he first wakes up in the morning.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) July 6, 2022
My 9yo took the time to make this sign rather than just throwing the bag away herself, I’m gonna need a minute pic.twitter.com/1rjqTPWBEC
— SpacedMom (@copymama) April 5, 2022
I played songs from 2000s last night and my 9YO asked me not to play old people music
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) November 13, 2022
9 year old: I can’t sleep.
— ThisOneSays (@ThisOneSayz) July 13, 2022
Me: Let’s think of something relaxing. In your mind’s eye, picture…
9: I HAVE AN EYE INSIDE MY BRAIN?!?
My 9 year old has a habit of singing while doing literally everything and right now is reading a book about the Titanic belting out, ????they're gonna hit an ice-berrrrrrg ????and it's the best thing that happened to me today
— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) September 26, 2019
My 9yo son took my iphone and in <5 min sent high rez close up shots of my dog's clenched sphincter to the following: my mom, my biz partner, wife, guy I went to grad school with in 2000, HSBC, my accountant, San Diego Blood Bank, and Shake Shack's text bot.
— Drew Sanocki (@drewsanocki) July 21, 2022
Idk what this virtual school is teaching but my 9yo just yelled from the office
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) September 17, 2020
MOM DON’T EVER GO TO A BATHHOUSE IN ISTANBUL
Pro: My 9-year-old packed her own suitcase.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 9, 2021
Con: My 9-year-old packed her own suitcase.