People-pleasing is making my life a misery – how do I stop?
DEAR DEIDRE: PEOPLE-pleasing is making my life a misery and I don’t know how to stop.
No matter what, I always put the needs of others before my own.
I’m a 25-year-old man and for most of my life have let people walk all over me.
Whether it’s at work, or with friends, family and even in my relationships I have always drawn the short straw.
I try so hard to be kind and will always go out of my way to make others happy, but everyone takes advantage.
Once people have got what they want from me, they start to fade out of my life.
Even my boss overworks me and assigns me more responsibilities than I’m paid for, but I’m too nice to say no.
I feel so low.
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Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
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DEIDRE SAYS: You’ve identified that you’re a people-pleaser and that’s the first step.
While it’s unfair that people take advantage of your kindness, self-awareness will help you to prevent this in future.
I’m sending you my support pack Standing Up For Yourself, which will help.
Take small steps. Instead of accepting more work, ask your boss to tell you your priorities, as you have a heavy workload.
You’re not alone. Contact Calm, the Campaign Against Living Miserably, which supports men who are struggling (thecalmzone.net, 0800 58 58 58).
My support pack Widening Your Social Circle will also help you.
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