My hubby’s feuding family has made my life a living nightmare
DEAR DEIDRE: PLANNING my daughter’s first birthday is a complete nightmare because of feuding in my husband’s family.
Deciding who to invite feels impossible and I’m worried it’s only going to cause more problems.
I’m 28, my husband is 32 and for as long as I’ve known him his family have never got on.
There was a falling-out over an inheritance and since then many of them haven’t spoken to each other in more than a decade.
Despite this, we’ve always tried our best to keep the peace and have managed to maintain good relationships with all of them.
While it’s been awkward at times, we’ve remained removed from the feud. But now that I’m planning my daughter’s party things have become complicated.
No matter what I do, I’m worried I’ll cause problems.
If I invite them all I’m concerned they’ll refuse to attend or, worse still, cause arguments on the day.
But if I’m selective I’m worried it’ll look like I’m taking sides and I know it’ll upset someone.
It feels like I can’t win, and I don’t know what to do.
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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sorry to hear about the stress this is causing you.
While navigating your way through a family feud is obviously difficult at the best of times, I can imagine it’s especially hard when you are trying to celebrate a milestone in your child’s life.
It would be best if you invite everyone and leave it up to them to decide whether they are going to attend or not.
These kinds of family event will keep cropping up again and again in the future and it is better for you to make your stance clear now.
By inviting everyone, you can stay neutral and leave the problem for them to deal with.
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