My 23-stone boyfriend beat me so badly I wrote goodbye letters to our toddler
A MUM has told of how her 23st boyfriend beat her so badly that she wrote goodbye letters to their toddler.
Jessica Tasker, 24, from Wales, is speaking out to highlight the harrowing reality of domestic abuse as photos show her beaten black and blue.
She suffered an eight-year campaign of physical and mental abuse at the hands of ex-partner Thomas Parry, 29, who she believed would kill her.
Shocking pictures show her arms and legs covered in dark bruises and her nose bloodied after evil Parry’s attacks.
The couple met when she was just 15 and he was 20 and the controlling behaviour soon became too much to bear.
Jessica told ITV Wales: “He didn’t like me wearing makeup to school, he wouldn’t let me speak to any male friends, and he didn’t like me going out with my own friends.
“He’d punch the back of my head, he’d pull my hair out stuff like that. He’d grab my jaw and push it into the ground but he’d never actually hit me in the face.
“He was clever, he knew not to leave a mark on my face or stuff like that so he’d hit my body.”
The victimised mum even described how she set up fake email addresses and wrote letters to her young son in case one of the attacks turned deadly.
She explained: “I also wrote letters to my little boy and told him how much I loved him – it was something I felt I had to do in case Thomas did kill me.
“Then I deleted it all because I knew as soon as Thomas came back he’d check my phone – all my messages and photographs.”
Indeed, in August 2022, one of the beatings was so savage Jessica thought she was going to die.
She recalled: “He came up to me on the sofa and started strangling me.
“He started going on top of me and strangling me until I started to black out and then when I passed out, he grabbed my hair and started smashing my head side to side on the sofa.”
He proposed to her the very next day, only to attack her again.
Jessica continued: “He came over to me and started stamping on me and spitting on me, stuff like that. He was pouring juice on me and kept spitting on me.”
She eventually worked up the courage to “make a run for it” from their home and showed the pictures of her injuries to family members and the police.
How you can get help
Women's Aid has this advice for victims and their families:
- Always keep your phone nearby.
- Get in touch with charities for help, including the Women’s Aid live chat helpline and services such as SupportLine.
- If you are in danger, call 999.
- Familiarise yourself with the Silent Solution, reporting abuse without speaking down the phone, instead dialing “55”.
- Always keep some money on you, including change for a pay phone or bus fare.
- If you suspect your partner is about to attack you, try to go to a lower-risk area of the house – for example, where there is a way out and access to a telephone.
- Avoid the kitchen and garage, where there are likely to be knives or other weapons. Avoid rooms where you might become trapped, such as the bathroom, or where you might be shut into a cupboard or other small space.
If you are a victim of domestic abuse, SupportLine is open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 6pm to 8pm on 01708 765200. The charity’s email support service is open weekdays and weekends during the crisis – messageinfo@supportline.org.uk.
Women’s Aid provides a live chat service – available weekdays from 8am-6pm and weekends 10am-6pm.
You can also call the freephone 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.
Cops apparently “teared up” as she told them of her ordeal, so bad was the violence inflicted upon her.
Jessica claimed that she now needs surgery on her jaw and has issues with her legs because of the abuse, as well as suffering from complex PTSD.
She added: “The emotional abuse is actually worse that the physical. When you see the photos you think that’s the worse part, but to me, what he’s done to me mentally is actually much worse.
“I just feel broken, some days I feel okay and I think I’m free now, I’m better now but other days I just start crying because it just replays in my mind.
“When you’re in that position and you mentally feel like you physically can’t leave.
“You feel so worn and broken down but it’s not as scary as it seems, because when you’re with someone like that you feel so afraid to leave of what they might do or say or anything about you, but I’ve realised now I do have a voice and i do deserve better.”
The brave woman is now sharing her story to encourage other abuse victims to seek help.
She explained: “At the beginning I kept everything anonymous and I was scared but I thought maybe I could help another person to see what’s happened to me that maybe it’s a sign or get a push to think about leaving.”
In March, Parry was sentenced to four and half years in prison for the attacks.
Half of his sentence is set to be served on licence.
Teresa Parker, head of media relations for Women’s Aid, said Jessica had been courageous to share her story.
She said: “Jessica is so courageous speaking out about the horrendous abuse she experienced, and as she explains, it was not limited to physical abuse but was controlling too – abuse can take many forms.
“You may feel as if you are treading on eggshells, and worried about what your partner may do if you try to leave.
“Whether you are being physically attacked in your relationship or not, all forms of abuse counts as domestic abuse, and coercive control has been against the law since 2015.”
If you are worried your partner is being abusive there is support available at womensaid.org.uk. The charity also runs a Live Chat service so women can get help from a support team.