I’ve been sleeping with my married colleague and want him to leave his wife and kids for me

DEAR DEIDRE: MY married lover, who I work with, buys me revealing lingerie that he loves me to wear to the office for him.

Our clandestine relationship was so exciting at first but lately I’ve started to want more than just the risqué sex.

I’m very confident about my curves and always got a thrill from driving him wild whenever we get a moment alone at the building firm where we work.

We’ve been sneaking around for a year and half.

Right from the beginning, he made it clear he was only after a bit of fun with me.

He told me how he and his wife had little in common, but that he would never leave his two little boys.

He is 34 and I’m 29. When we first got together, I’d just come out of a very abusive relationship and was thrilled someone good- looking was showing an interest.

Back then, I also didn’t want a relationship.

Our workplace is very sociable and every Friday night we all go down the pub. I noticed he was always by my side and often brushing against me. I spent weeks longing for him.

Then one night as we left, he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me toward him for the most intense kiss.

We had sex in his car that night, and now regularly have naughty sessions in the office out of hours.

He gets particularly turned on when he undresses me to find that I’m wearing one of his gifts underneath. But over the past few months

I’ve found myself falling for him, and wonder if he might leave his wife.

I’ve got to admit, though, when I unboxed his latest gift from an expensive lingerie company, I just didn’t get the same rush of excitement.

I’d like to have him in my life properly and stop all the sneaking around. How do I let him know how I feel?

DEIDRE SAYS: I’m afraid you have probably been wasting your time. This man made it very clear from the beginning that he had no intention of leaving his wife.

In order to prevent yourself from wasting even more time, please stop sleeping with him, and tell him that casual sex isn’t what you want.

Ask him if he still feels the same. He clearly loves his children so I suspect you’ll get the same answer, in which case it would be far better to end the relationship.

Please don’t waste your life – move on to your next stage and find someone who is ready to commit.

If he says he does want to be with you, let him know how long you’ll wait.

Unless you want to waste another year and a half on this dead-end relationship, stick to your guns.

To help, I am sending you my support pack Your Man Unavailable.