My son physically pushes me and throws things at me – he’s made me miserable

DEAR DEIDRE: I’M so miserable because my son, who was an angry child, has developed into an aggressive adult.

He is 31 and I’m 63. Even though he doesn’t live with me, he controls my life.

I’ve never felt so miserable.

His partner left him and his six-year-old daughter a year ago and since then his behaviour has been completely unpredictable and vile.

I understand he’s frustrated that his partner has walked out, but I’ve had enough of being his punchbag.

He puts so much pressure on me to clean his house and also to look after his daughter.

I know he is having a tough time but he doesn’t ask me for help.

I work part time so all the extra work is exhausting me and I don’t get any thanks.

In fact he physically pushes me around and throws things at me whenever he disagrees with something I say.

Last week he pinned me up against the fridge by my throat because I told him his daughter needed a new pair of shoes.

I’m starting to dread going around to his house, the atmosphere is awful as soon as you walk in there.

What can I do? I want to help but being anywhere near him is making me feel so low.

DEIDRE SAYS: Your son is abusing you, so it’s no wonder you are struggling.

It’s understandable that being left alone to care for his daughter will be very upsetting for him but that is no reason or excuse for violence.

Growing up in such a volatile environment is incredibly damaging for your granddaughter.

I urge you to speak to the NSPCC (nspcc.org.uk/ 0808 800 5000) about your granddaughter as soon as possible.

They will help you decide what is the best course of action for all of you to take.

I can sense your desperation, so please if you need help contact Samaritans by calling 116 123 for free or at samaritans.org. They will be there to listen to you.

I’m also sending you my support pack on abuse, which explains where you can get support.