Brighter Days In Cincy Thanks To Elly D Light

Reds' manager, David Bell, who is commonly known as Dumb Bell, not because he's the dumbest motherf*cker to ever manage a baseball team -- Phil Nevin is dumber than him -- he's known as Dumb Bell, because he's the 2nd dumbest MLB manager. (It's a 29-way tie for 2nd.) Imagine having five top 100 prospects, all under the age of 27, and thinking, "How do I get Kevin Newman into the lineup?" This perplexed Dumb Bell for countless hours. He took a trek to visit a Buddha statue in downtown Cincy (it's outside Buddha's Mongolian BBQ) to ask the Buddha what he thought he should do, and the Buddha said, "Look deep within for the knowledge you possess," so Dumb Bell dropped his pants, bent over backwards in front of a mirror and tried to find that knowledge deep within himself. Sadly, the only knowledge he now possesses is he needs to wipe better. So, Dumb's got a new piece to play with as Elly De La Cruz was called up. Just gave you an Elly De la Cruz fantasy. Yes, he's a pickup in every league. Oh, and "yes" reminds me of something: Where the Helly is CES? Anyway, here's what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball: