Just because I’m non-verbal, it doesn’t mean I can’t speak to you

As glasses clinked around the room, I stood up to deliver my toast.

It was my Uncle Rick’s wedding, and no special occasion is complete without my cheeky sense of humour.

Glancing down at my Microsoft Tablet, I took centre stage next to my dad, Nick, the joint best man. I clicked to access my voice communication software, and with a touch of a button, I was away!

I recognise that the way I communicate takes some getting used to. I can’t talk and from the age of seven, I’ve used software to speak for me – like Professor Stephen Hawking, or the stand-up comedian Lost Voice Guy from Britain’s Got Talent.  

I currently use a standard Microsoft Surface Go tablet, which I wear around my neck. It runs Windows 11, alongside my amazing communication software called Mind Express 5.  

By using this software, I can access a big communication grid of symbols, actions, places, and words. I can choose from my vocabulary of around 12,000 words, across about 200 screens, to dictate my wants, needs and join in conversations.

The speech sounds quite electronic, but you soon get used to it. There are different voices available. Lost Voice Guy, as he comes from Newcastle, has just had a native Geordie voice developed for his tablet.

The software has a slick interface with hundreds of ‘page sets’ available to browse. These ‘pages’ offer different talking points and phrases, and I can pre-program things, like wedding speeches.

Like anyone writing a wedding speech, I started from a blank screen, thinking of appropriate things to say about the bride, and inappropriate stories about the groom.

We then programed a paragraph on each button, and my speech was done. I just had to remember to press the buttons in the right order!

I can also use the search-bar, and type free-form words and sentences using the keyboard. This is more time-consuming, but there’s rarely an occasion when I’m lost for words! I am told that the number of pages and extent of the vocabulary is almost limitless. 

‘Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen, good afternoon and welcome to this wedding!’, the first button for my recorded wedding toast read. ‘I am Freddie Latham and for those of you that know Thomas the Tank Engine – I am the thin best man, and my father is a fat best man!’ 

Luckily my dad doesn’t mind being compared to the famous ‘Fat Controller’ from Thomas the Tank Engine, and as the room roared with laughter, I was delighted.

I’m a lovable, cheeky person and I adore making jokes. But because I’m non-verbal and can’t speak in the same way that others do, people sometimes underestimate me.

I think people expect me to feel sad that I’m non-verbal, but I’ve never known anything different.

I was a very premature baby, and it took me longer than other children to reach my milestones. That’s when I was diagnosed with a condition called global development delay and my parents realised that I might never be able to talk.

I also have a learning disability, which means that I might need a bit more support to learn new things.  

Without my tablet and Mind Express 5, my life would be very insular.

I went to a mainstream primary school until I was eight years old, and I had to rely on ‘speech cards’ and point to pictures to communicate.

Other children were always very kind and accepting, but my parents have told me that some adults were quite wary of me. They didn’t know how to interact with me, or what my level of understanding was.

Apparently, people would give me looks in places like the supermarket and that’s the hardest thing about not speaking, even now – there’s a tendency from others to treat me like a child or to try to talk for me. I find this rude and it makes me frustrated and angry.

You see, I can understand everything that people are saying – even if I can’t express myself or respond to something in quite the same way.

Rather than feeling sad that I’m non-verbal, I prefer to get on with things. 

Having a learning disability and being non-verbal has never stopped me from achieving my dreams, whether that’s running marathons, giving best man’s speeches, or doing radio interviews. 

That’s why I feel so lucky that technology came into my life. I remember when I got my first VOCA (Voice Output Communication Aid) machine in 2005, it was so heavy and bulky; like wearing a brick hanging around my neck! These days it works on a normal tablet. 

In the past, if there was a problem with my tech, we’d have to send it away to be fixed via overnight courier. Can you imagine what that’s like, being without your voice for even a day? 

Luckily, all my devices are provided and funded by the NHS and over the years, they’ve become slimmer and slicker. These days, everything can be backed up into the cloud and if something goes wrong, my software can be downloaded onto another Windows-compatible device. 

I know that without this technology, I wouldn’t have as much freedom or independence. I’d still be relying on pointing in symbol and picture books and it would be harder to do the things I love.

I’m 25 years old now, and I live in a supported living home with other disabled adults. I visit my family at weekends and I’m also a co-farmer at Rural Care in Aldenham Country Park. I love cracking jokes with my colleagues and chatting during our tea breaks.  

With a guide runner I recently ran the London Marathon for the third time, and I’d like to try the Paris Marathon next.

I’m hopeful that with advances in technology, there’ll be even more options for me in future. I’d love it if, one day, there was a tablet sophisticated enough to say what I was thinking rather than me having to type and push buttons. 

It’s hard to be treated differently because I’m non-verbal – it’s just not necessary! I’m great at making friends and I have good and bad days like anyone else. My friends and family are very good at recognising what I’m thinking and feeling, even without my tech. 

Happily, because of this software, people no longer assume that I can’t do something or join in. I just hope that when I meet new people, they will persevere – please be kind, patient and give me more time to reply.

I want to keep challenging myself by running more marathons, delivering speeches, and showing the world my cheeky personality.

My tablet is a part of me, and if anyone wants a hilarious best man’s speech, please contact my agent!

MORE : This sex toy makes my life so much more pleasurable – not just in the obvious way

MORE : When I go swimming, I always make sure to pack my waterproof headphones

MORE : I wouldn’t be able to function as an adult without the Notes app