United we stand: Diverse families in our military need our support

Immigration, love of country and military service have always gone hand-in-hand for me. My father, whose parents came to this country fleeing persecution in Europe, served briefly in the Cold War, and a member of my extended family was saved from Auschwitz by U.S. soldiers. He was taught English by an Army sergeant and made a life in America, where he had a hand in inventing the first Commodore computer.

I love this country, its opportunities and the brave men and women who keep it safe — that’s why I was honored to receive the Ellis Island Medal of Honor recently for my work supporting military and veteran families.

As we celebrate Flag Day and the freedom the Stars and Stripes represent, I am distressed. My whole family unit has served: my husband with 30 years in uniform and multiple combat deployments, my children and me with nine moves in 16 years and the emotional and financial challenges that entails. We love the life — it has purpose, adventure and camaraderie. But the bugs are starting to overwhelm the features for many, including the 2.4 million military veterans of immigrant origin, and we must address this. Military recruitment is down significantly, and if you look behind the curtain, one of the main reasons is easy to see: families.

A recent survey from Blue Star Families revealed that military families are less likely to recommend service than before: 37 percent of active-duty families still recommend military service, down significantly from 60 percent a decade ago. Why? U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy highlighted the scourge of isolation in America, and that can be a particular issue for military families: 70 percent live in communities and no longer on military bases. And while it impacts all families, it can be particularly damaging for military families who are from diverse backgrounds or immigrants, who may already feel out of place in communities lacking folks who look like them.

One particularly heartbreaking story comes from retired Lt. Gen. Thomas Bostick. When his son came to visit him and his wife at their home, he was stopped at the gate by police officers who had their guns aimed at him — all because they would not believe a young Black man could be the proper owner of the lieutenant general’s three-star placard that was in the car.

Unfortunately this is not an isolated incident. Blue Star Families surveyed 4,000 active-duty military families, including 1,000 families of color, and found among the latter group that 38 percent feared for their personal safety because of their race or ethnicity at least once in their civilian community.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the families facing discrimination even in civilian communities were less likely to recommend service to others. This matters to us as decent people, but it matters too because in 2027 the majority of recruitable young people will be from diverse backgrounds. That’s why hearing these stories and seeing these numbers not only hits me at my very core but worries me about our future force.

I can’t help but think of my family and the countless others who came to this country to escape race- and ethnicity-based persecution. We cannot claim to honor their memories or the sacrifices they made in service of our country if we continue to let discrimination — even if unconscious or unintended — persist in our communities.

It's important that we not only call out discrimination in our neighborhoods but that we make military families feel a sense of belonging: going for a walk with a military spouse, offering a recommendation of where to get a good haircut, or scheduling a playdate for your children can help make families feel part of our shared community.

Individuals can and must step up to confront discrimination wherever they see it, but the federal government must also play a role. To those who would argue otherwise, I point you to the VA, which instituted policies to create a more inclusive workforce and began research on the health disparities facing communities of color. In a similar manner, Congress should appropriate funds to conduct community needs assessments around military installations and in veteran-heavy population centers. These needs assessments, such as the Greater San Antonio Military and Veteran Family Needs Assessment, can provide insight to better understand the gaps in care and resources that exist and provide a guide for states and localities to step in.

Let me make one thing clear: we cannot fix the current military recruitment crisis if we don’t acknowledge the very real challenges that the military family lifestyle presents — and that includes discrimination of diverse military families. We are, after all, a nation made great by immigrants.

Kathy Roth-Douquet is the co-founder and CEO of Blue Star Families.