As thousands of students graduate from Stanford, tennis legend John McEnroe asks them to question what winning really means

John McEnroe’s career has been marked by nearly unfathomable success.

The tennis legend has won 155 combined titles throughout his nearly 30-year career, more than any man in tennis history. But on Sunday morning, McEnroe’s message to 5,158 Stanford graduates was that life is not just about the successes – and that winning is about far more than the final tally.

“In sports, you often hear the phrase ‘winning is everything.’ But in reality, it’s not,” McEnroe said. “The questions you have to answer are: Am I getting better as a person, and is what I’m doing bringing me and the ones around me happiness? Those answers will tell you whether or not you’re really winning.”

For McEnroe, that’s meant learning the pieces of his life beyond tennis – like his relationship with his family, and the twists and turns of his career off the court – have held just as much value as even 17 grand slam titles.

“If I allowed myself to be defined by tennis, I wouldn’t be half as interesting. I probably wouldn’t be here right now, and I would very likely be very unhappy,” said McEnroe. “You’re the sum of your whole life, not your professional accomplishments. So, start enjoying your life now.”

Many Stanford graduates appeared to live out his advice during the Wacky Walk, a long-running undergraduate tradition where students dress in all sorts of homemade costumes. One student struggled across the field in bright yellow flippers. She grinned from ear-to-ear as she clutched a friend in swim trunks, a boy who also had a pool floatie hugging his waist. Behind them, a classmate posed for pictures dressed as a giant Cheeto. And behind him, five students shuffled to their seats in black and white, posing as a set of dominoes.

Many of the outfits were silly, but some were less so – with many pointing to the challenges students had experienced over the last four years.

A few young women carried posters that said CLEARED FOR GRADUATION, a throwback to the digital clearance cards students had used after testing negative for COVID-19 on campus. One student was framed by a cardboard square, making her face look as though it was in a Zoom meeting. Still others were dressed as yellow ducks, a physical materialization of Stanford’s “floating duck syndrome” – the phrase used by both undergraduate and graduate students to describe the difference between perception and reality.

On the surface, the metaphor goes, Stanford students seem to have everything pulled together. But below the water, nearly everyone’s feet are kicking – frantically – to make sure they stay afloat.

In his speech, McEnroe emphasized such challenges.

“The real victory in life is in the long game,” McEnroe said. “Measure your success in how much you evolve, not necessarily how much you win.”

And over the last four years, evolve students did. Like college graduates across the country, many of those who walked across the Stanford stage on Sunday experienced a university experience thrown into chaos, with their first year marked by COVID-19 lockdowns, their sophomore year entirely remote, and their junior year in a hybrid transition phase, where they had to re-learn what it meant to be at college.

Still, no matter what elements of that experience they chose to focus on, the feelings across students were largely the same.

“We’re trying not to look each other in the eyes so we don’t start crying again,” said 22-year-old Jueun Nam, who just finished up her undergraduate degree in product design. “We’re really excited. But we’re also sad.”

Beside her, 22-year-old Ashley Nguyen – who graduated with a bachelor’s degree in ethnic studies — agreed.

“It’s very bittersweet,” Nguyen said. “It’s the end of an era.”

Thousands of people packed the stadium to watch their daughters, sons, siblings, and friends get their diplomas.

Loretta and Patrick Winans flew in from Las Vegas to see their granddaughter Olivia graduate – and it was something Loretta had been talking about for weeks before their arrival.

“I was telling all my friends in Vegas that I was going to California to see my granddaughter graduate from Stanford,” said Loretta, sitting from her perch atop the stadium. “We’re just so very, very, very proud of her and everything she’s accomplished.”

That pride was mirrored in the Tran family, who had flown in from Los Angeles to watch their firstborn son graduate with both an undergraduate and masters degree at the same time. He was the first in the Tran family to finish his college degree – and his mother Frances, who immigrated to the U.S. from Vietnam, beamed as she sat next to her daughter in the bleachers.

“I’m just very happy,” Tran said. “And very proud.”

A few rows down, Paul Holland felt the same. His daughter Devon was one of three daughters at Stanford, and the latest in a long line of the Holland family to have passed through the esteemed institution. Devon’s grandfather graduated from Stanford in the 1950s and Devon’s mom got her masters from Stanford years earlier.

“My grandparents got married at MemChu (the church on Stanford’s campus), my parents got married at MemChu, and so did two of my aunts,” said Piper Holland, Devon’s sister and – of course – a 21-year-old Stanford student. “It just feels really special.”

On Sunday, 1,579 other undergraduate degrees were awarded alongside Devon’s, along with 2,503 masters degrees and 1,075 doctoral degrees. No matter their focus of study – whether it be biology like Loretta’s granddaughter, or economics like Frances’ son – McEnroe encouraged all the students to enjoy the ride post-graduation, and above all, not to fear life’s inherent failures.

“Sometimes you win the point, and sometimes it’s an endless rally that you lose,” McEnroe said. “But you take your best shot and keep finding the courage to step on the court. Graduates, this is the time to take your shots. Your life will go by fast. Give it your all.”