Counteracting microaggressions with positive interactions at work seems obvious, yet we need to actually do it every day

• As a woman and a person of color, I've been on the receiving end of many microaggressions.
• A Harvard Business Review article said that avoiding committing microaggressions is not enough.
• "It's not enough to simply eliminate negative interactions — we also need to encourage positive ones."

Much has been said about microaggressions — what they are, what to do if you are on the receiving end, and how to avoid committing one.

They're generally defined as comments or actions that subtly expresses a bias or prejudiced attitude toward a member of a marginalized group, and they're often unconscious, subtle, and unintentional.

Insider has previously written about 15 things people think are fine to say at work — but are actually racist, sexist, or offensive.

As a woman, a person of color, and someone who has traditionally been one of the youngest members of the team in the room, I've been on the receiving end of microaggressions ranging from, "Oh, I didn't know you'd be here," (well, it is my job) to, "Oh, you know so much about this," (again, it's my job to) and, "You're so prepared" (thanks?), to "I'm sorry I forgot you were involved in this," (again, thanks).

One of my personal favorites was, "You're so young, how do you know about this?" (Well, I read!)

An article in the Harvard Business Review said that avoiding committing microaggressions isn't enough; to remedy the harm they cause, we need to counteract them through microvalidations. "It's not enough to simply eliminate negative interactions — we also need to encourage positive ones."

I thought this was an interesting approach — that we have to be directed to lift up our colleagues and provide support. But then I realized that just because something might seem obvious, it doesn't mean it gets done on a regular basis.

Part of the challenge from microaggressions comes from how they're often worded.

"One thing is that they are in a sense ambiguous, so that the recipient is apt to feel vaguely insulted, but since the words look and sound complimentary, on the surface (they're most often positive), she can't rightly feel insulted and doesn't know how to respond," Robin Lakoff, professor emerita of linguistics at the University of California, Berkeley, previously told Insider.

Of course, just as microaggressions can cause various reactions in people depending on their backgrounds and circumstances, the article points out that microvalidations likewise don't offer a one-size-fits all fix. "Different microvalidations will be affirming for different people and in different circumstances, so it's important to know your audience and context."

Microaggressions might seem minor, but it's been widely reported they can hurt job satisfaction and feelings of belonging, while increasing burnout. Trans people can also be on the receiving end of micoaggressions at work.

The emotional pressure of dealing with microaggressions every day can weigh on employees. For some workers from underrepresented backgrounds, remote work provides a reprieve from microaggressions. For those on the receiving end, the comments can feel anything but "micro," according to a recent Forbes article.

The article suggested five ways to incorporate microvalidations into our work lives:

Acknowledge presence

This is a simple one: Greet people by name, make eye contact, and give them your full attention. Put your phone away, close Slack, close your laptop — and engage.

Validate identity

The article points out that we wear many different identities: our job title, our race, gender, nationality, parent, sibling, caregiver, to name a few. "But marginalized identities are often dismissed or forcibly minimized or reinterpreted by others," the article said.

The article recommended we help people feel seen and understood by respecting identities, pronoun choices, and asking how to pronounce names. (I am always gratified when I start a call with a source and I'm asked, "How do you pronounce your name so I say it correctly?")

"Be open to learning about people's backgrounds and identity stories and acknowledge their experiences rather than trying to correct them if they don't seem to comport with yours," the article stated.

Our individual experiences are microcosms, and aren't always representative of the general public. Just because I experienced one thing, I can't assume everyone else also has. I appreciate when my colleagues and managers operate from that standpoint, too.

Voice your appreciation for everyone's contributions

Praise your team, publicly and directly, when they make important contributions, help solve a problem, or influence decision making, the article recommended. "Do this in real time, even — especially — when a person expresses dissent. This signals that everyone's perspective is welcome and valued."

This is something I try to be more cognizant about. Many of us are so caught up in our work on a daily basis, it benefits everyone — including ourselves — to do this.

Hold people to high standards

People from marginalized backgrounds tend to be held to different standards, the article said, such as being given lower-level tasks, being micromanaged, or getting feedback based on negative group stereotypes.

Examples of this include telling nonwhite employees they speak English well or complimenting a female manager for being caring rather than for her technical, on-the-job skills. Instead of using "compliments" that play into stereotypes, praise employees for actual achievements and provide necessary resources and developmental feedback to enable success equally.

And don't compliment the person for traits that should be expected, the article cautions.

Affirm leadership potential and status

Find ways to express that you have confidence in new leaders' ability to rise to challenges; especially because "non-prototypical leaders (in other words, non-white, non-male leaders) often experience contested authority, which means that people reject and challenge their leadership ability, decisions, and potential," the article said.

One thing I always found helpful was that I've had managers who always made sure I was included on emails, on Slacks, or in meetings, and a few intervened when I was left out to say, "She's the best person to answer these questions and give an update. Please include her."