I keep telling my kids it's OK to be bored. Somehow, I can't follow my own advice.

• I'm a mom of two boys and have heard my fair share of "I'm bored!"
• I've realized that as a parent, I get bored a lot. 
• Here are four strategies that have helped me deal with my own boredom. 

The sounds of summer are all around — the splash of the pool, the sizzle of the grill, and the two words parents dread hearing: "I'm bored!"

As a mom of two young boys, I've accumulated my share of responses to these two words. "It's OK to be bored!" "I'm sure you can think of something to do. What's one idea?" And, when I get really tired of the complaining: "If you need something to do, I can give you chores."

But every time I give my kids my spiel on the benefits of boredom, I also quietly wonder to myself: Why is it so hard for me to follow my own advice? Shouldn't I be better at this now?

As it turns out, boredom is not so easy for adults to deal with either. We might have more options, but we also have to make more choices. And as parents, we're already suffering from decision fatigue.

By the time we've decided what to make for dinner, who's picking up the oldest from baseball practice and the youngest from piano lessons, and what to get for an 8-year-old's birthday party, we don't want to have to think about what to do after the kids go to bed.

So, we default to the easy choices of things to do, like watching Netflix or scrolling on our phones. Dealing with boredom without immediately turning to our devices is hard, and it requires a little proactive planning.

Here are four strategies that have helped make it easier to follow my own boredom advice.

Ask what's really the problem

Boredom isn't always caused by the same thing. As Erin Westgate, a psychologist at the University of Florida, explains, we can be bored when what we're doing seems pointless or when it's too easy or too hard. We can also experience existential boredom when we feel a more general sense of emptiness or alienation.  

Asking ourselves why we're feeling bored is an important step in knowing what to do about it. Do we need to pivot what we're doing in the moment — or in life?

Add flow

I often get frustrated by how much time I spend on things that don't really matter and how little time I spend on the things that do.

It's not that I don't know what's good for me or what would make life more meaningful; it's that what's good for me generally isn't as convenient or immediately satisfying as the things that aren't. When I make the things I want to do easier to get started or more enjoyable, I'm more likely to do them rather than default to something easier but ultimately less satisfying.

Add friction 

One of the hard things about being a parent is that we don't have anyone else to police our screen time, and we're not very good at policing ourselves. The key is to stop relying solely on our willpower.  

Instagram and Netflix, and TikTok are like big juicy pieces of chocolate cake — delicious for a few bites, but not something we really want to consume huge amounts of.

We would never rely solely on our willpower to avoid chocolate cake. We don't just leave cake sitting out on the counter. We put it away. We can still take it out when we decide we want some, but when it takes a little more effort and intention, we're less likely to eat it simply out of habit.

Adding friction to our screens by putting our phones out of reach and setting time limits on our social media apps can help us avoid two big screentime sinkholes: mindlessly turning to our devices as soon as we feel a hint of boredom and spending more time on our devices than we intend.

 Accept the negative feelings

Our kids are right about one thing: being bored sucks.

Fortunately, it usually doesn't suck for long. When I feel the unpleasant feeling of restlessness start to rise, I turn to a mantra that psychologist and parenting expert Becky Kennedy recommends telling ourselves when our kids don't want to do their homework: "This is not an emergency. I can cope with this."

And Dr. Becky is right. Oftentimes if I can just cope with the initial unpleasant feelings of boredom for a few minutes, I can make it over the hump and then make more intentional choices.

I'm still not perfect at following my own advice, but recognizing my own difficulty helps me empathize with my kids when they have a hard time being bored. I get it kids, it's not easy for me either.

Jen Zamzow, PhD, is an adjunct professor of healthcare ethics at Concordia University Irvine, writer, and mom to two young boys. You can find her writing in Psychology Today and her monthly newsletter "A Well-Lived Life." You can also find her on Twitter and Instagram.