Ellie Simmonds Finding My Secret Family viewers break down in tears as she meets her birth mum for the first time
ITV viewers broke down in tears tonight as they watched Paralympian Ellie Simmonds’ heartbreaking adoption story.
The Strictly star, who was put up for adoption at just two weeks old after being diagnosed with dwarfism, explored her past in documentary Finding My Secret Family.
It culminated in her meeting her birth mum for the first time in very emotional scenes.
The reunion came after Ellie, 28, read an old letter handwritten by her mum in which she wished she’d had an abortion or that Ellie had died.
With a social worker acting as an intermediary, Ellie wrote to her mum explaining she wasn’t angry at her and that she wanted to get to know her.
She sobbed as she read her mum’s reply in which she said she had suffered with “guilt and self-hatred”.
Her mum also said that she had suffered a traumatic split from Ellie’s birth father which seriously impacted her mental health.
After the meeting, Ellie said: “It was amazing. We spoke about everything over the last five hours. We’ve got the same sense of humour we were laughing so much.
“I felt like her face was just like me. What touched my heart was that she thinks about me everyday and she always sees me as a daughter.”
Nervous Ellie told how she chose not to show her mum on screen due to fears over how she would be perceived.
Viewers were left in pieces, with one writing on Twitter: “Absolutely heart breaking TV programme. To hear her mum wanted an abortion of Ellie is just heart breaking. I feel for her so much. I lost my baby at 17 weeks to turners syndrome and no matter what I would of had her.”
Another said: “Ellie Simmonds is a national treasure and has such a beautiful heart. I’m already fascinated by her story of being rejected as baby and finding her birth family.”
Ellie, 28, a five-time Paralympic gold medallist, always knew she was adopted.
But as her swimming took off, the family chose to keep this private, until now.
In the moving documentary, she searched for her biological family and revealed the heartache of learning her mum gave her away two days after she was diagnosed with achondroplasia, or dwarfism.
But she recently told The Sun she is grateful for her “amazing life” and has never felt anger.
She said: “I wouldn’t be who I am today if my birth mother hadn’t made that decision.
“I could be someone so different and not have had such a positive life, being around people with different disabilities and going to the Paralympics and having all the opportunities my parents gave me.”
After first going into foster care, Ellie was adopted at three months by Val and Steve Simmonds, from the West Midlands, and was the youngest of their five adopted children, some with disabilities.
The family home had an outdoor pool, which energetic Ellie loved, and she said: “I had a great childhood. We’re a very close family.”
Her parents were open about her biological family, showing pictures of her mum, dad and older sister, and she would fantasise about what they were like, “a bit like Tracy Beaker”.
At 11, Ellie moved with her mum to Swansea to train with Team GB. Two years later she became the youngest British athlete at the 2008 Beijing Paralympics, winning two golds.
But a busy career meant she never hunted for her birth family.
Ellie said: “When I was younger I thought about my birth mum a lot.
“But from 2006, when I competed in my first World Championships, to when I retired, I never wanted to delve into that because I needed to be focused.
“When I retired, though, I lost my identity and was thinking, ‘What should I do now? Who am I as a person?’ I realised I now had time to find out who I am.”
Ellie was the first in her biological family born with dwarfism.
In the show she reads a social worker’s notes saying her birth mum, who split with the father during pregnancy, had been unable to “bond” with her after the diagnosis and even wished she had died.
Ellie said: “I was sad to read those things but now, having met her, I know what situation she was in. She was struggling mentally and didn’t have much support. She regrets saying those things.”
Ellie read a shocking leaflet that suggests children born with the genetic condition are “muscular and acrobatic” because they had “traditionally been involved in circus”, and adds some people equate people with dwarfism with “evil and stupidity”.
She said: “This was 27 years ago, not 100. That language is still used. That’s what we need to change.”
‘Same personality’
Helped by a support worker, Ellie traced her birth mum last year and they began to write to each other.
But she said: “It’s been tough. There have been a lot of moments where I’ve been emotional, and I’ve cried a lot.”
Ellie was at first reluctant to meet, but taking on the challenge of Strictly last year gave her strength.
She said: “Strictly was outside my comfort zone and I thought if I can push myself in my public life, maybe I’m able to take more emotional risks.”
She is so chatty but, after agreeing to meet her mum in a hotel, feared she might end up tongue-tied.
“I was so nervous,” she said. “I thought I knew what nerves were but this was totally different.”
Ellie need not have worried.
She added: “As soon as she walked through the door, we were embracing. There were tears, there was a lot of emotion. We ended up spending five hours chatting and laughing, and I got answers to questions that I’ve had throughout my life.
“I couldn’t stop looking at her. She has eyes like mine, and my facial expressions. Her personality was like mine. She laughs a lot.”
Ellie’s birth mum, whose identity she is protecting, followed the swimmer’s career since piecing together clues and working out who she was during the 2008 Beijing Paralympics.
But Ellie said: “She was so respectful. She wanted to let me live my life, and wait for me to get in contact when I was ready. She’s proud of me. She says how thankful she is to my parents, who’ve raised me to be who I am and given me the opportunities I’ve had.”
Ellie is yet to meet her birth dad or sister because she wants to bond with her mum first. She says: “I’m trying to take it as slowly.”
‘Take it slowly’
Making the show, Ellie met other adopted disabled children and heard from a social worker that 2,000 are waiting to find families.
Disabled children typically take longer to place, with just one in 150 prospective families open to the idea.
Ellie said: “It’s one of the reasons I wanted to do the documentary. I thought going on this journey would raise awareness, not just of adoption, but disability.”
She added: “I’ve kept my adoption quiet, outside of friends and family. This is not a documentary encouraging people to find birth parents.
“I had wonderful support from my adoptive parents, my siblings and my boyfriend Matt. I’d say to others wanting to go on this journey, really think, as it is emotionally tough.”