Do You Actually Forget The Pain Of Labour? This Mum Did Six Months After Giving Birth

A mum has revealed how just six months after giving birth, she can’t remember the pain of labour. And it’s something many – but not all – can relate to.

“My husband thinks this is crazy. But I didn’t know if anyone else experienced this,” revealed the parent. “I gave birth almost six months ago and I don’t remember the pain.”

The phenomenon is not uncommon. Lots of women report not quite remembering the sensations of labour, even though they recall it was painful for them at the time.

“I vividly remember being in pain, and clutching the hospital bed rails with all my might, but the actual pain, [I] can’t recall it for anything,” said the mum, taking to Reddit.

“It blows my mind. Like I know I had contractions for hours, but I couldn’t even tell you what they felt like.”

Other parents were equally baffled and shared their own experiences of not remembering the sensations of birth. “I remember between (screaming through) contractions I said to my husband, ‘how do siblings exist?!’” said one. 

“Two weeks later I’m picking out sibling names.”

But not everyone shared the reduced memory recall, as far as pain was concerned. “I can vividly recall every single pain and I’ve already decided to never do it again,” said one parent.

Another added: “Can’t relate. The pain haunts me daily.”

So, why is this?

Unsurprisingly it’s not a well-studied area, but one study of women’s memory of labour pain – from two months to five years after birth – found memory of labour pain did decline in a lot of women over a period of time. 

But for those who had a negative overall experience of childbirth, the memory of labour pain didn’t decline. What’s more, women who had an epidural – suggesting they experienced extreme pain during birth – reported higher pain scores at all time points, suggesting that these women remember the ‘peak pain’ of labour. 

In a piece for the Conversation, Monique Robinson, of the Telethon Institute for Child Health Research at The University of Western Australia, suggested lots of other factors can play a part in how a birth is remembered. So things like: satisfaction with care-providers, choice of pain relief, level of medical intervention, complications, outcomes for the baby, and other personal factors.

All of these would add up to either form a positive or negative birth experience. Positive experiences are less likely to be associated with pain, whereas negative ones are. 

Discussing why some people might forget the pain of birth, Jennifer Conti, clinical professor of obstetrics and gynaecology at Stanford University, told Self her theory is that from an evolutionary perspective, the survival of our species could depend on women forgetting the pain of labour and birth.

“If you can’t remember how intense your [birth experience] was, maybe you’re more likely to do it again and reproduce,” she said. 

“I often hear women say that they can remember that they were in pain during labour, but can’t actually recall the perception or intensity that well. On the other hand, there are women who swear they remember the event like it happened yesterday.”