‘Never say never’: Office worker says male colleague won’t stop asking when she’s having kids
An office worker revealed a conversation between her and a male colleague about her decision not to have kids—and, remarkably, he refused to believe her.
The video covering this came courtesy of TikTok user @honeyandmud, recounting the conversation between her and her male colleague.
“I was chatting with a guy at work today and he asked me if I have any kids,” she begins. “To which I responded with, ‘Oh no, I’m not gonna have children.”
The colleague laughed off her comment, telling her to “never say never.” However, the content creator took the response with a grain of salt. Why? Because she knew “for a fact” she didn’t want to have kids.
On the other hand, the colleague seemed surprised by her comment.
'Yeah, I’ve known since I was a child that I don’t wanna have kids and I’m 35 years old and that hasn’t changed and I really don’t see that changing in the future," she told her colleague confidently. Yet her answer still wasn’t good enough for him.
“Well, you never know," he responded.
This really got under her skin because this is a common occurrence for people who choose to be child-free. She ranted about how these people tend to act “like they know the person better than the person knows themselves.”
During an interview with The Daily Dot, the creator revealed how the conversation came up during a chat about how she spent her Fourth of July. After sharing her "low-key 4th celebration" with her parents, a friend of theirs, and her brother, her colleague asked if the content creator had “a family of her own," meaning children.
"Most people don’t push it as far, don’t demand to know my reasons as much as this guy was, but as a female-presenting, single, childfree 30-something, my reproductive habits seem to really fascinate people," she said via TikTok.
She added, "A lot of them seem to think they know better than me, that it’s only a matter of time before I cave and have a child, and make sure I know that with their 'you never know” and 'only time will tell' comments."
However, both males and females ask her why she doesn't have children.
"Females seem to feel some strange sense of pity, like they might pat my head and say 'poor dear' in some disgustingly condescending tone," she explained. "Whereas males seem to respond more as though I’ve got a few screws loose, like I must not be right in the head and therefore quite incapable of coming to this sound decision on my own."
So, why doesn't the content creator want kids of her own? It stems from her past experience as "a childcare provider for a decade" of her life.
"I started babysitting when I was 12, which eventually evolved into my being a full-time nanny in my 20s. I absolutely loved being a nanny, as I truly do love children and enjoy spending time with them—but I need that clock out time," she elaborated.
"As a nanny, I would spend over 8 hours a day with a child," she said, "and as much as I enjoyed it, the respite at the end of the day, my decompression time, was so sacred to me."
"The United States is on the verge of a civil war, rights are being stripped away from minorities left and right, and with the way human beings have a tendency to destroy themselves, I don’t doubt that Mama Earth is preparing to shake us off her back like the fleas we are if we don’t shape up. Bringing a child into a world on fire is not something I am willing to do," she added.
The video garnered over 178,000 views as of July 9, and commenters contemplated the issues she brought up.
“It’s because they see you exercising that choice as a challenge to their own lifestyle, and it freaks them out to an amazing degree,” one remarked.
“I presume the think sooner or later we're gonna have an oops baby and the ‘maternal instinct’ will kick in,” a second suggested.
“A lot of parents secretly regret it. Scares them to be confronted with the fact they could have chosen differently,” a third stated.
In addition, other child-free viewers shared similar experiences.
“Almost 47 and people still ask me if I want kids one day I'm like hooow ooold do you think I am?!” one person shared.
“I'm 54, people still say, ‘Well you can still foster.’ They never give up,” a second wrote.
“I'm 56 and had my tubes tied at 33 and loved men's reaction when they would ask and they would say, 'u never know,'" someone else shared. "I would drop, nope, tubes tied."
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