I cried for days and binge-watched TV shows after being laid off from SAP. After applying for 134 jobs, I realized what would make me truly happy.

• Barbara Jamelli-Sefchik is the founder of Talent Development Innovations and a former SAP employee.
• After her layoff in March, she felt paralyzed, but she started applying for jobs within a few days.
• Now she has a nine-to-five that gives her flexibility to focus on her business, and she's happier.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Barbara Jamelli-Sefchik, a 55-year-old former SAP employee and the founder and owner of Talent Development Innovations from northeastern Pennsylvania. It's been edited for length and clarity.

I'm a now-former SAP employee, having held a global-HR role at the company for most of my 17 years there.

I'd steadily moved up the ladder and was an example of the career movement that's possible when you do good work, pay attention to company trends, and have good leadership that recognizes your capabilities.

But during a meeting with my manager and my organization's HR business partner on February 13, they notified me that "my skills were no longer required" and that my last day would be March 15.

What was especially painful to me was that our CEO had announced in late January that a small layoff would be coming, and that several weeks would pass until affected people would start to be notified. Imagine sitting around wondering if the hammer is going to fall on you.

I felt paralyzed when my worst fears were confirmed

I had an interim period to find another role in the company or be laid off. I was given a "code" to use in our internal job-search tool so I could get "priority" consideration. Even with the code, the hiring manager responsible for a role I was very qualified for rejected me within hours. If they'd wanted to keep me, they could have.

My severance package — which was typical, but not the best, for the industry — included severance pay based on years of service, cash for COBRA to continue health insurance, and a payout for unused vacation days.

The company also offered support services for displaced workers from Lee Hecht Harrison, a talent-acquisition and job-recruitment firm, which have been tremendously helpful. They assigned me a coach who made herself available as often as I needed.

The situation paralyzed me for a few days. I couldn't even read — it took too much brainpower to process the words. I spent my daytime hours crying and bingeing "And Just Like That" and "The Morning Show."

Finding a job became my full-time job 

I applied for a total of 134 jobs, and all of them were for talent-development or learning-and-development leadership roles.

It's repeatedly frustrating when you "tick every box" in terms of skills gained through experience but can't get a first interview.

A few places even ghosted me. That's a blessing in disguise — if your automated system can't even generate a rejection letter, shame on you, and I don't want to work for you.

While applying for jobs, I had plenty of moments to clear my thinking and find a way forward 

I had been growing restless for years, and I had considered podcasting, writing, and consulting. Before my layoff, most of that was just a dream.

A friend asked if I could help build learning content for his company. I consulted with my "personal board of directors" — former and current chief human-resource officers, a CTO, and a chief legal officer who were already in my network. Their perspective was that I should try to see myself as they see me, and, more importantly, as they see my work, which inspired me to take a chance on consulting.

I started my own business, Talent Development Innovations, in May to serve my friend's needs for ramping up learning at his company. My first gig was helping him brainstorm what some curricula could look like and building some assets for those curricula.

It was meant to be a short-term project, but it gave me a taste of what's possible when I'm free to do what I'm truly good at. I'm now working on developing visioning workshops; talent-management strategy; learning-culture programs; and learning-and-development strategy, planning, and execution.

I still need to learn more about building the business, but I've put the foundation down.

In the meantime, I've received one precious job offer that I'd sought since the first days of this ordeal, and I've accepted

I'm a leader of enablement governance and delivery at a large US enterprise. That salary gives me the flexibility to figure out the business-development aspect of being out on my own. My new job is 40 hours a week, and I work on my business during nights and weekends.

My podcast and business are no longer just dreams — I have a focus and a plan now.

To the many people who told me that similar experiences brought about the best changes in their lives, I didn't believe it back when I was gasping for air while ugly crying, but I definitely believe it now. While this is somewhat of a "cautionary tale," I'm in no way bitter about my layoff.

My advice is to take the time to update your résumé and LinkedIn profile monthly because you never know when you'll need them.

Finally, if you find yourself in this situation, process your layoff, but don't take too much time. Don't be bitter, and don't take it personally — it isn't.