My friends and I travel to Ibiza every year without our kids. Some people judge us, but the trips help me avoid burnout.

• I love to travel but with two kids, flying is often difficult and stressful. 
• Once a year, my friends and I travel to Ibiza without our families for a fun-filled vacation.
• I love my kids, but traveling without them saves me from burnout and makes me a better parent. 

Before I had children, I imagined family holidays would be picture-perfect Italian villas and leisurely dinners. But six years and two kids later, I've realized travel with your children can be more about damage limitation than rest and relaxation.

Family holidays, as lovely as they are, come with a new set of environments and risks that you have to navigate. It's not always easy to keep everybody safe and happy when you are away, and then there's the traveling itself, which can be stressful whether you are six, or thirty-six.

So for my family, flying is off the table for now. But as someone who loves to travel, one solution has been sticking to no-fly destinations for family holidays and taking overseas breaks without my children. And taking these overseas vacations helps me reset and return to them an even happier mom than I was before I left.

Child-free holidays have been a revelation

I've spent most of the last six years raising children and although we've enjoyed our family holidays, we've also spent much of them focusing on our kids rather than truly relaxing. So for the last two years, four of my friends and I have ditched our kids and partners for the most perfect — and fun-filled —annual trips to Ibiza for a few days. 

Everything in Ibiza is designed to prioritize pleasure; we've had incredible late nights, enjoyed mouth-watering small plates, indulged in ice-cold bottles of rosé, and seen picture-perfect hidden beaches. For the few days I'm away I can be myself first rather than someone's parent, and because I have fewer responsibilities, all I need to do is have a good time. 

I relish getting ready without needing to ensure multiple people have been coated in sunscreen or that I have remembered to pack everyone's water bottles. I don't have to think about whether where I want to go will be child-friendly or if the day's activities will fit around multiple bedtimes. I can stroll up to the top of Ibiza's castle at midnight, go on all-day boat trips, hike to secluded beaches, or sleep in late if I want to.  

My days are longer and freer, meaning more time for me, my friends, fun, and adventures. I love being a parent, but it's not the only facet of my personality, and holidays without my children help me remember that.

Child-free holidays make me a better parent when I get home

Traveling without your children can be a divisive topic. Some people think it's unfair — both to the kids, and the partner you're leaving them with — while others feel guilty or worry they are being a bad parent for wanting to go on vacation in the first place. 

I've heard from people who disagree with my choices on social media. At times I have felt my own pangs of guilt about being away from my children in case they need me, and because I'm having a lovely time without them, even though I know I shouldn't feel bad about this. But I know my children are safe and happy, and these breaks make me appreciate them so much more when I get back.

Parents today now spend more time with their children than any previous generation,  and parental burnout is a growing issue. While having kids is a choice (for most people) the reality of parenting 24/7 is exhausting and hard work.  

I'm glad I am able to spend so much time with my children but equally as grateful to now be able to have some time apart, and to have the opportunity to travel like this. So much of my life is spent focusing on my family that I don't think it's selfish to have a few days away from them.  

A few days away won't change the fact that the mental load of parenting is heavy and there is often a lack of support for parents. But because it's often very hard to separate your own needs from those of your children, by temporarily removing yourself from your responsibilities when you know someone else is taking care of them, it can be easier to focus on real rest and doing what you want and need. 

I'm lucky to have family support, and a partner who can look after our children while I'm away, and I believe it's beneficial for our whole family for our children to spend time with their father as their default parent. 

Holidays without my children give me a break from the routine daily life of parenting, and when I get back, I'm ready to jump back into school runs, dinner times, and bedtime stories. I am never a great parent when I'm tired and exhausted, and I want to raise my children to see that prioritizing adventures, joy, and fun is a great idea.

Child-free holidays are a liberating and joyful experience that can leave you feeling refreshed and like a much better parent when you get back. They remind you who you are, what you care about, and how that translates to how you want to raise your kids. Far from being selfish, traveling without your children is good for you and good for them.