I avoid dating because I don’t think I have much to offer in the bedroom

DEAR DEIDRE: FOR years I have struggled to get an erection – and even when I do manage one, I climax in the blink of an eye.

I am a 64-year-old man.

My last two relationships have ended because of these issues. It is rare I manage to last longer than foreplay.

I started having this problem when I was in my forties.

My doctor says there is nothing physically wrong. I avoided dating for a while because I don’t think I have anything to offer when it comes to sex. But I recently met someone I really like through an online dating site.

We haven’t had sex yet and I can feel myself becoming increasingly worried about it.

I just know she’s going to think there is something wrong with me and I’ll lose her just like the others.

I feel inadequate and over the hill. How can I solve this?

DEIDRE SAYS:  This has become a psychological issue. Your problem is almost certainly down to anxiety.

You are tense and anxious, having got into a pattern of worrying about failure.

That in itself is enough to block your sexual responses. Sex can become something to avoid – for fear it will lead to disappointment, frustration and embarrassment.

Arrange to see a sex therapist via the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (cosrt.org.uk, 020 8543 2707).

My support pack on Solving Erection Problems will also explain some self-help sex therapy.

Pictures posed by models.