Laugh-Out-Loud Funny Tweets From The World Of Pet-Sitting

[calling friend while dog sitting] does it drink regular or Diet Coke

— John Kennedy (@FrazzleMyGimp) December 30, 2021

My friend whose dog I am watching has just text to say there is yoghurt lollies in the freezer for the dog if he wants them. Yoghurt lollies. For the dog. In the freezer. If he wants them.

— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) June 10, 2023

in case helpful to other non-pet people who are pet sitting this summer:
it doesn't help to google "cats"

— Hosam Aboul-Ela (@AboulelaHosam) June 30, 2016

Vampires are probably the least scary monsters. “The sunlight kills them and they’re extremely allergic to garlic” am I supposed to be afraid of that? This is like the instructions you get when dogsitting a 17-year old Pomeranian

— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) July 21, 2022

i'm dogsitting four dogs for the next week, which sleep position should I get used to? pic.twitter.com/VnuhbAh37k

— Kris (@kristoph_errr) October 8, 2022

One of the cats I’m watching rn doesn’t come to me when I call her but she’ll come when I sing to her
I love my fans

— katie ✌️ (@katiethepufff) July 21, 2020

petsitting for my parents and my dad cooked chicken, rice, green beans, and sweet potatoes for the dog. they did not leave me any food.

— samantha (@samanthamarie) July 21, 2022

I'm dog sitting for a friend this week and he sent me a note about walking her, feeding her etc. This is how it starts: pic.twitter.com/5kiW1PvRC4

— Stop Cop City (@JoshuaPHilll) August 28, 2021

We’re dogsitting for a friend rn, so my dog, who is a jealous narcissist, is unearthing all her buried-in-the-cushions snacks and chews and snarfing them as quickly as possible so that her little dog friend cannot have them

— Helen Rosner (@hels) August 21, 2019

The dog I’m sitting got ahold of a plastic knife and was threatening to eat it, I had to offer her my whole breakfast in exchange for her dropping it, and then I realized I had just literally been held up at knifepoint by a dog over some scrambled eggs pic.twitter.com/O4GkZpGdyM

— Laura Bassett (@LEBassett) April 28, 2023

fuck I just asked this dog I'm sitting if he's all right and he definitely thinks I asked if he wants to go for a ride

— i bless the rains down in castamere (@Chinchillazllla) November 16, 2022

asking the pet sitter to learn all the songs i made up about my cat. "can you sing it back to me so i know you've got it"

— soda jerk (@poniesandsodies) March 3, 2023

CSI: Petsitting

Whom left half a mouse in my shoe this morning

— ditch pony (@molly7anne) July 18, 2018

goodnight the dog i’m dog sitting is sleeping legitimately on top of me i’m not mad tho this is the closest thing to having a boy in my bed i’ve had in months

— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) June 8, 2018

perhaps the wildest thing to learn when dogsitting in a very fancy, rich person part of town is how many of these very fancy houses sit completely empty most of the time.

— Alicia Lutes (@alicialutes) May 30, 2023

cat sitting for a friend today… is this normal?? pic.twitter.com/OAdmZhCZN1

— yams (@wedoreally) March 24, 2022

Have never been a pet person or understood pet culture but I pet sat a cat who slept next to me every night and now she’s gone and nothing is the same

— yaseera (@al_yaseera) November 5, 2022

the cat i’m watching rn screams whenever i get too close to her and also whenever i get too far away and i am suddenly feeling a lot of empathy for my ex boyfriends

— dirt prince (@violinbee01) January 2, 2023

Reminds me of this woman I dog sat for pic.twitter.com/jII4HYH02p

— Amy ???? (@amykflower) February 23, 2023

this cat I'm watching has been sitting through multiple episodes of SVU with me. I think I made her a fan

— em???? (@maureenoharas) November 26, 2021

You forget how many issues your rescue dogs have until you have to fill out a pet sitting profile for them.

— A̸n̶d̶r̸e̶y̷a̵ ????????⬛????️ (@AndreyasAsylum) January 25, 2021

This is what happens when you’re puppy sitting and have too much free time pic.twitter.com/TvVoHxoot8

— Tommy Vietor (@TVietor08) July 25, 2021

I'm pet sitting and honestly, I'm finding myself identifying with both cats way too much.

One just knocked everything out of the pantry so he could go to sleep in there and the other keeps getting stuck in closets.

Both are a mood.

— ✨ Mashed Potato Dream Girl ✨ (@sheseemslegit) February 19, 2020

Pet sitting is such an emotional roller coaster. At first theres just this annoying/weird cat or dog in your life who smells and/or hates you and by the time you say bye your bond is so strong you will literally jump in traffic for the little weirdo ????

— Zeid Hamadeh, PhD (@hamadeh_zeid) December 23, 2022

forgot we were cat sitting last night came busting in with my takeaway n tripped straight over the cat cbaaaa pic.twitter.com/dUDtU5W461

— mya (@MyaBirch) August 31, 2019

The dog I’m watching gets agitated every time I sing and it’s absolutely slaughtering any remaining confidence I have

— andrew (@andbreww) May 11, 2021

Oh boy! I sure do love pet sitting!
I guess I live in this basement now. Fwd all mail to ‘Black Floof’s Dungeon’. pic.twitter.com/MqdrRCkPtC

— Butts (@Viking_Lass) February 23, 2019

i’m dog sitting and i don’t have the heart to leave him in another room all night since he’s been missing his owner all day. however… i was not ready for him to jump his lil ass up in my bed next to me.

— king crissle (@crissles) July 15, 2022

Dog sitting my sister’s terrier:
How much do we feed her?
-It’s cool just leave her food out.

Our lab:
YEAH JUST LEAVE HER FOOD OUT!

— Jester D is Gone Bird Watching (@JustMeTurtle) October 19, 2019

When I cat sat Ivan, he spent every morning watching @GMA and I’d send of photo of it to @tayloreyocom.

Yesterday, she surprised me and STRAIGHT UP MADE A PHOTO BOOK
with every pic I sent her and mailed it to my house.

I’m dead. Absolutely dead. ???? pic.twitter.com/H6XLSHm8eM

— Tess Yocom (@TessYocom) March 23, 2019

I don’t like the name of the dog I’m watching so I’ve started calling her “Jason Bateman” instead

— shosh brodman (@shosh_brod) March 14, 2021

These are the instructions that my mom left me to watch her dog who I have watched every time she has ever gone on vacation (at least five times). Also I’m a doctor. pic.twitter.com/p1vfKsCJIs

— Cait Trottier (she/her) (@CaitTrottier_MD) June 10, 2023

jus walked the dog i’m watching and this old woman asked me what strain she is so i said maltese and indica

— kk (@jciler) August 12, 2019

The dog I’m sitting just yipped pathetically for 5 minutes because I hadn’t gone to bed yet and she was already under the duvet. Are we married?

— Heidi Loves Dogs (@heiditron3000) May 17, 2021

I love dogs but I’m dog sitting rn and i’ve determined I’m not ready to have one yet because the emotional turmoil of begging a 10 pound puppy to poop at 7:30 in the morning was not something I was prepared for

— ellie schnitt (@holy_schnitt) February 13, 2022