How Jonah Hill used ‘therapy-speak’ to ‘control’ ex-girlfriend Sarah Brady, according to expert

As surfer Sarah Brady continued to lash out against ex-boyfriend Jonah Hill Monday, she shared commentary from a mental health professional who explained how the “Superbad” actor misused language he apparently learned in therapy — particularly the concept of emotional “boundaries” — in an attempt to “control” her professionally and personally.

On Instagram Story, Brady, 26, posted a video from Jeff Guenther, a Portland, Oregon,-based licensed professional counselor who posts insights into mental health and therapy on TikTok and Instagram. Over the weekend, Guenther used his popular TherapyJeff TikTok account to weigh in on Brady’s explosive disclosures about her relationship with Hill, whom she dated from August 2021 to sometime in early 2022, according to Page Six.

Guenther said that Hill was “using therapy-speak to control” Brady, and appeared to bolster her contention that the “Moneyball” actor was “emotionally abusive” during the relationship, according to People. 

Since going public over the weekend with text messages that Brady said Hill sent her, she has argued that the messages show how he he tried to “gaslight” and “manipulate” her into turning down professional opportunities to surf and model swimwear, the Daily Mail reported. The messages also appear to show how the actor, who also is an avid surfer, tried to limit her contacts with male surfing colleagues and with certain female friends.

Guenther’s short video specifically looked at Hill’s use of the word “boundaries” in an alleged text message, in which set out some restrictive parameters for continuing to have a relationship with Brady.

“These are my boundaries for (a) romantic partnership,” Hill said in the alleged message. He explained he couldn’t be in a relationship with her if she continued to model, post pictures of herself in a bathing suit and post sexually suggestive photos of herself. He also didn’t want her “surfing with men” having “boundaryless inappropriate relationships with men” and “friendships with women who are in unstable places.” He said she had “hurt our trust” by doing these things.

My man TherapyJeff always gets it pic.twitter.com/9JNpOWDNmb

— huh? (@IHateYourFacee) July 10, 2023

In response to Hill’s alleged effort to assert his “boundaries,” Guenther said it was “important” to address the actor’s “misuse of therapy language” because it’s “kind of a thing these days.”

Guenther said misusing therapy language “can be super problematic as it masks controlling behavior under a commonly accepted positive concept — in this case boundaries.” When someone like Hill misuses the language, Guenther said, it can make it harder for the person on receiving end — in this case Sarah — “to challenge it.”

“Jonah is basically telling his professional surfer girlfriend, I am not going to be with you if you surf with men,” Guenther said before explaining how Hill was harmfully engaging in “therapy-speak”

“A boundary is healthy limit a person sets for themselves to protect their well-being and integrity,” Guenther said. “It is a rule or guideline that one creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for others to behave towards them — and how they’ll respond when someone passes those limits.”

“However in this message Jonah sent to Sarah he is not setting boundaries that protect his emotional well-being,” Guenther continued. “Instead he is dictating what behaviors and friendships Sarah is permitted to have. He’s essentially instructing Sarah on who she can be friends with, what she can do professionally, and how she can show up online.”

“This is not an example of healthy boundary setting,” Guenther emphasized, pinpointing Hill’s use of an ultimatum. “Instead it reflects at at control. It demonstrates a lack of respect for Sarah’s autonomy and individuality. Jonah’s message is more about restricting Sarah’s behavior to suit his insecurities, rather than expressing his feelings or needs in a healthy manner.”

“Sidenote,” Guenther said. “I bet he loved how hot Sarah looked in her posts before they got together.”

It’s likely that Hill became familiar with “therapy-speak” during his sessions with his own therapist, Phil Stutz, a psychotherapist and author who is known as “the go-to shrink” for Hollywood stars, as the Los Angeles Times said. Hill made a documentary, “Stutz,” about their sessions over the years, and the film premiered on Netflix last November. Hill said he made the film to share with the public all “the tools” he had learned in therapy.

Before the documentary premiered in November, Hill announced that he was taking a step back from heavily promoting it and his other movies due to anxiety attacks. “Through this journey of self-discovery within the film, I have come to the understanding that I have spent nearly 20 years experiencing anxiety attacks, which are exacerbated by media appearances and public facing events,” Hill said in a statement.

After Hill and Brady ended their relationship, Hill began started a new relationship with his rumored fiancée, Olivia Millar, who gave birth to their baby earlier this year. But in a series of new messages that Brady released on Instagram Story, she also alleges that Hill was still “sexting” her in July 2022, just before he started dating Millar, Page Six reported.