My husband is intent on moving to Dubai with or without me

DEAR DEIDRE: MY HUSBAND lived in Dubai when we first met and now he wants to return.

We moved back to the UK when I became pregnant.

He accuses me of tricking him into returning because I said it wouldn’t be for ever.

I don’t recall having this conversation, but he has held me to this and resents me for moving back.

I’m 39 and my husband’s 42. We’ve been together for 17 years and have two boys, aged 15 and 14.

Now he’s said he will move abroad one day and although he loves me, can’t live his life here.

I didn’t know what to say to him, even though I told him I can appreciate how he feels. He accused me of being selfish, but I retaliated by saying he was the selfish one. 

I don’t think I could contemplate living abroad at the moment. I am close to my family, but he accuses me of choosing them over him.

DEIDRE SAYS: Try to find a compromise. He may feel happier if you can agree to spending a couple of months abroad a year when your children are older.

There are good house- swap options, or you could perhaps rent your property out to fund extended trips.

This is about helping him feel considered and appreciated. 
At the moment he thinks he’s given up the life he loved for ever.

Work together to find long-term solutions that you are both happy with.