I gave my son £120k to buy a home but now his wife is threatening me

DEAR DEIDRE: GAVE £120,000 to my son to help him and his family buy their dream house. 

It was done on the understanding that my wife and I would convert an old barn in the grounds into a home for us.

The purchase went through and work started on the barn. But my son’s wife kept interfering in the plans and within a few weeks she told us to leave, or she’d take legal action.

I tried talking to my son but to no avail. His wife’s very controlling.
He 36 and my daughter-in-law is 34.

She said she wouldn’t let us see our grandchildren unless we backed down.

I tried to get my money back through a solicitor but because it was a gift, we were unable to.

I’m 64 and my wife’s 62. We are broken-hearted. There’s very little communication with my son and the few conversations we’ve had are very negative.

I desperately miss him and the grandchildren. I can’t cope with going down any legal routes to see them. It’s much too painful.

DEIDRE SAYS: This is heartbreaking. Your daughter-in-law sounds like she wants to control the agenda.

You need to work out what matters most to you – playing an active part in your grandchildren’s lives that means saying how much you regret what has happened, or continuing to recover your money and being cut out.

For support and advice, contact grandparentsapart.co.uk.