The One 'Annoying' Habit That's Actually Great For Your Relationship

I get it, I get it; a lot of the time, couples can be really annoying. Between over-the-top PDAs, effusive IG posts, and even just a sappy snog in public, the (reasonable, IMO) cost of true love appears to be a healthy measure of cringe. 

One of the most disliked couple behaviour seems to be baby talk, or the high-pitched, babble-rich voices couples sometimes use on one another. But it seems that even though the practice can be incredibly annoying, experts reckon it’s great for your relationship. 

Here’s why a little beau babble can be great for your dating life, and even your friendships: 

Research suggests that those who use baby talk are more securely attached 

“Individuals who had babytalked to friends or romantic partners tended to be more secure and less avoidant with regard to attachments in general,” the researchers for Babytalk As A Communication Of Intimate Attachment: An Initial Study In Adult Romances And Friendships said.

And baby talk also predicted couple happiness, according to the study –“Within a particular romantic relationship, indicators of intimacy and attachment accounted for about 22% of the variance in babytalk frequency. Partner’s babytalking was the strongest predictor, accounting for about 42% of the variance,” the researchers shared.  

OK, but why? 

There are a couple of theories. 

Dr. Kathryn Smerling, an NYC-based family therapist, told NBC that the childish nature of the chat could make the couple feel more relaxed and safe when being vulnerable with one another. 

“Some people might refer to it as couple speak, but the more common clinical term is known as regression, or ’infant-directed speech,” she shared with NBC.

“In psychoanalytic theory, individuals revert their behaviour to an earlier stage of development, and they may mimic childish mannerisms as well as speech. It is actually very common and most couples resort to it when they want to either display vulnerability or as a way to get closer in a very intimate manner,” she adds.

Another suggestion is that baby talk is a form of ‘mirroring’, or acting in similar ways to your partner to establish a sense of closeness. 

Anna Walker, a communication sciences and disorders researcher, also told The Conversation that creating a special kind of “secret” language could well increase a couple’s bond. 

“The use of “idiosyncratic,” or personalised, communication is an important aspect of close friendships and romantic relationships. A bystander listening in might be flummoxed. But to the couple, it’s a sign of their bond – a boundary that sets them apart from everyone else,” the researcher said. 

Two-thirds of couples seem to indulge in a bit of baby talk every now and then. And given how beneficial it can be to relationships, it might just have to remain something we all weally, weally, wuv to hate.