I helped a dad take care of his daughter on a 9-hour flight. I realized people should have more compassion for families.

• I recently moved from the US to Portugal and sat next to a 5-year-old girl on the plane. 
• Throughout the flight I helped take care of her, and that kept me entertained. 
• I usually stress during flights, but this connecting made it more enjoyable for everyone. 

Recently I sat beside a little girl and her father during a flight from New York City to Lisbon. The experience gave me insight into what it's like managing a child during a flight, from the snacks to the entertainment, to actual physical safety when it comes to turbulence. 

Helping the girl and her father made the flight more enjoyable for everyone, and it made me realize we all need more kindness and empathy when we are flying. 

I watched a kid-friendly movie

I was seated in the aisle seat of a three-seater row in the Premium Economy section of a plane. The girl, about 5 years old, sat to my right, and her father occupied the window seat to her right. I had trouble lifting my carry-on above my head. The father was kind enough to place it in the overhead bin for me. After expressing my gratitude, we waited for the flight crew to start their safety presentation. I noticed the little girl glancing at me and the screen in front of me with a curious expression from time to time. This made me uncomfortable to watch a series or movie with adult-themed content.

After 30 minutes, I switched to "Coco," an animated motion picture with themes about diversity, family, and cultural celebration. Since I was traveling to Portugal, I opted for Portuguese subtitles to brush up on my language skills and in case the little girl wanted to read along. It was a good move since the child stopped watching the series her father had selected with her and focused on my screen.

The flight attendants thought we were traveling together

As attentive as the father was, I experienced what some passengers may feel as an intrusion of personal space and boundaries, including the little one resting her head on me and cuddling my arm. Her father would shift her toward him whenever he realized what she was doing. Nevertheless, her restless little body would find its way back to me. After several attempts of this pattern, I motioned that I was OK with the little girl claiming my arm as her personal body pillow for the duration of the flight. He smiled gratefully and eventually drifted back to sleep as well. 

The family seemed so comfortable with my presence that the flight attendants assumed I was traveling with them — and at each interval of serving snacks, meals, and drinks, the crew members asked me what child preferred.

Another event that surprised me was during a period of extreme turbulence. The child's seatbelt was unbuckled, and neither the father nor I had thought to check under her blanket before buckling ourselves up. At some point, the air pocket we hit caused many passengers, including myself and the little girl, to rise from their seats. 

Instinctively, I threw my arm over her to anchor her down and prevent injury — and her father's instinct was to brace the seat head in front of him. After throwing an incredulous look his way, he mouthed to me, "obrigado" which is Portuguese for thank you. I fastened the girl's seatbelt and kept my arm over her shoulders until the turbulence stopped, after which she returned to rest her head against my arm again.

Boundaries are different for everyone, and I was OK with my interaction with the child as long as she wasn't kicking my seat or vomiting on me.  

Our interactions actually helped my anxiety

I have a fear of flying, but having a little one to care for put my mind at ease. Honestly, it felt great to be trusted. I also drank less because I was sitting next to a child. That resulted in a win-win since I felt less groggy than usual at the end of a trip.

As we exited the plane and entered the airport, I noticed the dad seeking my attention. He pointed at his daughter, and she smiled and waved a final goodbye, which I returned. Although I was stressed about flying and my move abroad, I chose not to take it out on a vulnerable person. I recognized her needs and tried to place myself in her father's shoes. It could have been their first time flying, or they could have had a terribly long journey.

All I know is our collective willingness to treat each other simply as people created a safe, respectful, and engaging environment among strangers during a nine-hour flight.