I was boob-shamed for going bra-free to a restaurant – I didn’t think it was a big deal, the people pointing disagreed
A bra-less birthday girl was left mortified when she claims a gaggle of ‘staff on their day off’ mocked her in a restaurant for going bra-free.
Kaylah Ingemi had been surprised with a dinner reservation by her boyfriend, Ayoub Bezzaz, at a seafood and grill restaurant in Massachusetts, US.
The couple were enjoying their starter of fresh oysters when they began to notice a group of girls that they believe were laughing in their direction, but both brushed it off, blaming it on their own anxieties.
Kaylah ignored the ‘rowdy’ group of women until one member walked up to their table, looked at her chest and called back to her friends ‘Hey look, that’s the one we were talking about’.
The 28-year-old immediately felt shocked and insecure about her body as the pair decided it was due to Kaylah’s lack of bra underneath her bodycon dress and shawl – opting to finish their meal without a dessert and leave.
The dogwalker has lost more than five stone since 2020 due to her medical condition, Ehlers-Danlos syndromes (EDS), and has since not worn bras as the condition makes her skin more fragile and the straps hurt.
She says her partner Ayoub, also 28, was shocked that the humiliating encounter came from other women.
The offended customer believes the group were ‘staff on their day off’ as other workers repeatedly joined them at the table and they knew everyone – though admits she does not know for certain.
Kaylah, from Central Massachusetts, US, said: “I was just out to eat on my birthday with my boyfriend.
“It was a surprise dinner because we don’t really go out to eat much.
“I saw a group of girls that were pretty rowdy, they looked pretty young like in their early twenties.
“They just kept looking over at us and we didn’t really mention anything at first.
“I wasn’t really sure what was so funny, and I thought it was me overthinking so I just ignored it.”
At first, the couple thought they were overthinking it all.
“We just ignored them, we were just minding our own business,” she explained.
“They got up and walked behind my boyfriend at the table and said something like ‘Hey look, that’s the one we were talking about’ and then they cocked their heads over and looked at my chest.
“I was just in shock and kept thinking, do I look funny? What is it? What are they laughing about?
“They all started laughing and then walked off to the host booth.
“We determined that it was probably that I had no bra on and it was cold in there.”
The couple believe Kaylah’s nipples had been getting attention from the start of the night – but both had brushed it off as overthinking.
They quickly paid and left without ordering a dessert to try not let it ruin the rest of Kaylah’s big day.
Kaylah said: “I was talking to my boyfriend about it and we addressed that we both saw them looking our way earlier at the table.
“I had to kind of tell myself that there isn’t anything to really look at so it was shocking. I was baffled.
“We noticed that multiple staff, the hosts and maybe four waitresses and waiters, went and sat and talked to them.
“Everyone there knew them and acted like they were friends with them.
“We didn’t mention it to any of the staff, we just asked for the bill and paid and left.
“We didn’t order dessert, we just wanted to get out of there.
“I didn’t really want it to ruin my night because it was my birthday.
“I just felt discouraged.”
Kaylah has ditched the bras since she lost weight in 2020 after being diagnosed with EDS, a rare condition that can affect the skin and make it more fragile.
Both her and Ayoub were shocked that other women would comment on her choice to wear a bra in 2023, and thought it could be due to their young age or their conservative values.
Kaylah said: “I used to be plus sized. I actually got sick and lost a lot of weight really fast.
“I have a lot of back problems. The bra straps would put a lot of stress on there, so I tend not to wear one now.
“I chose for medical reasons and comfort to just not wear a bra anymore.
“My boyfriend was so surprised it was from other women.
“I know that the area that we were eating in is very conservative. It’s a small town so there’s a lot of rich folks over there.”
She continued: “People will always have opinions. It’s more so just shocking and it’s sad that there are people out there that are like that.”
Kaylah posted about the encounter online, which attracted more than 2,800 likes and comments: “Wore bras for years, finally have been getting the courage to just not give a f**k since it’s 2023 and free the nips! And my [melon emoji]s are half the size they used to be, so I can finally wear cute clothes.
“But a group of young girls at a expensive, fancy restaurant yesterday was very obviously pointing, laughing, gossiping about my nips! Now I’m self conscious again. What do?
“Ps. The girls seemed like they worked there but had the day off and was interacting quite heavily with the staff. Very obnoxious and rowdy.”
Many commenters online flooded to encourage Kaylah on her bra-free journey.
Kaylah said: “I wasn’t expecting people [online] to be so understanding. The responses were heartwarming.
“I’d say to any other women out there, do what makes you comfortable because no matter what people are going to have opinions on it.
“You shouldn’t suppress your comfort and your happiness just for other people you’re never going to see again in your life.”