My husband is withholding sex to punish me – I feel so frustrated
DEAR DEIDRE: IT feels like my husband is punishing me by withholding sex, despite knowing I love it and have a high sex drive.
He has suddenly started pushing me away whenever I touch him, and he won’t tell me why.
I’m 30 and he’s 34. We have been married for three years.
Until a few weeks ago, we were physically intimate every day, sometimes twice a day. But suddenly he went off it.
It’s not just penetrative sex he’s avoiding, but kissing and oral too.
If I touch him, he makes it seem like I’m a sex pest.
It’s making me feel ugly and undesirable. It’s not so much the sex I need as the intimacy and affection.
When I told him I was upset, he got angry and said if sex was that important to me, I should find someone else.
But I don’t want any other man. I’ve tried wearing nice lingerie but it makes no difference. I have no idea what I’ve done wrong.
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DEIDRE SAYS: When a man suddenly goes off sex, it’s usually because there’s an underlying problem, either mental or physical.
Perhaps he is under a lot of stress, is unhappy about something or is worried about his performance.
It won’t be because he no longer fancies you.
My support pack Reviving A Man’s Sex Drive explains more. Try talking to him again – but not in bed. Ask him to be honest so you can get back on track.