5 Wizards Who Know Your Son

There aren’t all that many wizards out there, but a large share of them know your son. Here are five of them.

1. Arazian the Powerful 

Arazian the Powerful and your son have been in touch since back in 2018 when they met at the library. They still see each other socially pretty frequently at the type of places that both children and 148-year-old men hang out at, such as food courts and bowling alleys, and they’re on great terms. They don’t spend a ton of time together one-on-one, but when they do they usually have a blast harvesting potion ingredients in the Great Swamp of Farthwood and trading Hot Wheels. Arazian the Powerful is happy to know your son, and your son is happy to know his big buddy Arazian, which might not be the greatest news if you’re the type of parent who doesn’t want wizards to know their son.

2. The Great Porrance

The Great Porrance is one of the most powerful wizards in the Stillwater, Minnesota area, and he knows your son pretty well, which is probably new information for you. They used to work together at Dippin Dots where they bonded over their mutual love of Fortnite and newts. While they mostly interact in a couple of group texts, they do get together now and then to catch up in person over a mocktails. They actually just saw one another last night at Dave and Buster’s, but they were both there with other wizards so they didn’t hang out much. They keep talking about planning a canoe trip together, but they’ve both been pretty busy, so who knows when that will happen. Maybe next spring, assuming they’re still in touch then, which all indications suggest they will be.

3. Lanturnus

Lanturnus doesn’t consider your son his best friend or anything, but he definitely knows him. Being that Lanturnus lives in Toronto they obviously don’t see one another much, but they do follow each other on social media and are hooked up on Steam, where they play Quiplash at least once a month. Your son has talked about coming up and staying with Lantunus in the Mystical Tower of Secrets at Eldwood Palace, but as a minor it’s tough to cross into Canada without a parent or guardian, so that might have to wait until he’s 18. How your son got to know so many wizards on your watch is anyone’s guess, but you might want to play a bigger role in helping your son form relationships with those who don’t practice the dark art of necromancy like Lanturnus does.

4. Aran-Thor the Dark

Deep in the darkest reaches of Maraun Forest dwells a moss-covered ancient wizard who knows your son. It’s hard to keep track of everyone in your children’s social circles, so you can be forgiven if you didn’t know that Aran-Thor the Dark and your son are in touch. Also, it’s not surprising that your son has kept his relationship with Aran-Thor on the DL, as Aran-Thor’s brand of dangerous brand of Thrumorian black wizardry is frowned upon by his fellow wizards and parents alike, but despite what your son claims, him and Aran-Thor are absolutely acquainted and will remain so as long as Aran-Thor can keep from being banished to the Shadow Kingdom of Rokian for violating the Pact of the Ancient Ones.

5. Lathius Cloudbearer

Master of the Sacred Flame, Lathius Cloudbearer, first got to know your son while volunteering at Stonebridge Elementary to teach kids about alchemy, and the two have stayed friends ever since. The last time your son saw him was when they ran into each other at the garden center where Lathius was picking up some herbs to cast a Curse of the Dire Tongue spell. The two of them made a little small talk about mulch and your son told Lathius he should stop by sometime for coffee, which Lathius said sounded great. It’s unlikely that will actually happen, as Lathius never got your address from your son, but it made it clear that even if they aren’t super close, Lathius definitely knows your son—as do at least four other wizards. Not to get involved in your business, but you might want to help your son find some friends who aren’t old enough to be his great, great grandfather, and who can’t do powerful magic.