Whenever my wife is upset with me, she has a dig at my penis size
DEAR DEIDRE: WHENEVER my wife is upset with me, she has a dig at my small penis.
I thought she had forgiven me for cheating, but it seems she wants to humiliate me as revenge.
I’m 38 and she’s 36. We’ve been married for nine years and have two young children.
We had some problems a few years ago, and I stupidly reacted by having a brief affair with a woman from work.
I knew I’d made a huge mistake and confessed all to my wife. She was devastated, but she agreed to work on our marriage.
She knows I’ve always had a complex about my penis, which is thinner and shorter than average.
Before the affair, she was always very kind about it and said I was still great in bed. She claimed it wasn’t a problem – or even that small.
But lately, whenever she’s upset with me, she’ll make remarks like, “Wasn’t your lover disappointed by your small d**k?’.”
It’s very hurtful. Now I think she has always had an issue with my penis size.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your wife may have said she has forgiven you for your affair, but she clearly hasn’t forgotten.
And she is still very angry with you about it.
That’s why she lashes out using the most powerful weapon she has – your anxiety about your penis. She knows mentioning it will really hurt.
Read my support pack, Penis Size, for reassurance.
Talk to her and say you would like to work through this. My support pack, Cheating, Can You Get Over It?, may help you both.
Couples counselling may benefit you too. Contact Relate (relate.org.uk).