This Event Helps Create Jewish Marriages; You Can Too
Before she died, my mother told me to help people find their soulmates. She made 15 marriages as a matchmaker.
While I’ve made a few, what twins Isaac and Seth Galena have done is simply remarkable.
After starting bangitout.com, which has apartment listings, funny articles, and other good content in 2001, they became known for having one of the most talked about Jewish singles parties — the annual Tu B’Av White Party on Manhattan’s Upper West Side. They estimate they have made approximately 50 marriages. William Levin first saw an intriguing woman named Malya at one of the Tu B’Av parties. They tied the knot and now have four children.
On August 1, I attended the event in Manhattan, which drew between 920 and 1,000 Jewish singles.
While being a Jewish single offers the benefit of freedom, it often provides the drawback of being told you are less than by society. Criticism usually flows from family, friends, and strangers.
I know tons of highly intelligent, kind, and attractive doctors, nurses, lawyers, playwrights, teachers, and actors in New York, Los Angeles, and other cities, who are single. There’s nothing wrong with them. They are not too picky.
Social anxiety, pressure from parents, and a lack of experience in speaking to people romantically can result in a “deer in the headlights” scenario for some. With the onset of Covid, the fact that dating has shifted to an “apps” culture, and fewer Jewish singles parties, it’s a triple-whammy to what already was dubbed a “shidduch” crisis, a term I am using to discuss the problem of unmarried Jews.
It warmed my heart to see scores of singles connect with people, with some making plans to go out.
I saw one man who was afraid to approach anyone. After talking to him, I saw him shake off some of that fear and introduce himself to some women. While I don’t know what the results were, life is about taking a chance, and you only grow by being vulnerable.
And there are ways that married Jews or Jews in relationships can help singles find their match.
If you have a family and know two people that might hit it off, why not invite them to a Shabbat meal? If you are a macher and have cash to spare, why not create some Jewish singles events? Dating apps are useful; I have written about some and will continue to do so, as any tool can be beneficial. But the skill of approaching people, like any other, diminishes when seldom used.
To be sure, there are rabbis, synagogues, and organizations doing great work to help make marriages. MeetJew is one that is doing amazing things. How about more funding to create new groups and collaborate with organizations for live events?
There are many millions of dollars invested in powerhouse nonprofits to fight antisemitism. That makes sense. But how much is being invested in helping Jewish singles?
The preservation of the Jewish people requires not only the protection of living Jews, but measures to help create those yet to be born.
The author is a writer in New York.
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