We Blind Tasted Our Favorite Hot Dogs Against Major Market Brands — Here’s The Ultimate Weiner Winner
We’re not going to let go of grilling season until an actual rainstorm douses our grills! Or you know, it gets too chilly outside to reasonably want to cook in shorts and shuttle meat from the kitchen to the outdoors. Regardless, while we may be in the last full month of summer, we’re definitely not ready to let our hot dogs go gentle into that good night (the freezer).
So in the name of maximizing grilling season, we decided to run a little blind taste test. Who will be the wiener winner?
As with everything we cover, we want to help you only cook the absolute best. In that case, that begs a crucial question: Do you need to shell out for some high-quality expensive dogs? Or are you just as well off going with a no-frills market brand? At the end of the day aren’t hot dogs just unwanted meat trimmings pureed and pushed into a casing? How much better can expensive brands actually be?
We decided to find out by putting our favorite hot dogs against the major market brands in a blind taste test. My editor ranked a ton of hot dog brands in the past but I had a few problems with that ranking.
- It wasn’t a blind taste test.
- My editor boiled the dogs, which is a fine way to cook them but it’s grilling season, grilling imparts flavor so we can’t be sure his number one choice is the best for grilling.
- My editor’s top choice was Olympia Provisions. Now, I love the guy, but he did once try to convince me that the Wendy’s Frosty was the ultimate milkshake, and… just no. His taste is officially suspect.
- Also, this same editor is a Portland Oregon boy. Was it just a coincidence that his favorite brand also originates from Portland, Oregon? I’m not so sure.
So I took the #1 brand from our first big ranking and my favorite brand, Teton Grass Fed Beef Franks [LITERALLY THIS BESMIRTCHED EDITOR’S #2 PICK!], and pitted those two against a few dogs from multi-state market chains (Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s, and Aldi), grilled them all up, and put them to the blind taste test.
Methodology
For this blind taste test, I had my girlfriend grill up each hot dog and serve each on a plate completely naked. No mustard, ketchup, relish, onions, nothing baby! Since at least one of these hot dogs sticks out like a sore thumb I ate each under the cover of a blindfold, recorded my tasting notes into my phone, and ranked them all.
For the most part, a lot of these hot dogs tasted strikingly similar, so it took a few bites of each to really start to experience the differences. Here are the brands we’re working with.
- Aldi’s Parkview Uncured Angus Beef Franks
- Aldi’s Simply Nature Uncured Beef Hot Dogs
- Olympia Provisions Uncured Pork Frankfurter (My Editor’s #1)
- Teton Waters Ranch Uncured Beef Hot Dogs (Available at most market chains)
- Whole Foods 365 Uncured Grass-Fed Beef Hot Dogs
- Trader Joe’s Uncured Beef Hot Dogs
Part 1: The Hot Dog Taste Test
Taste 1:
Very juicy, my initial bite offered an explosion of zesty meaty flavors. There is a nice floral smokey quality here courtesy of the liberal use of paprika. The casing has a nice snap to it and the meat has texture, rather than tasting totally pureed.
Taste 2:
Wonderfully beefy, the casing isn’t quite as snappy as Taste 1 but the flavor of the meat is way more deep and savory. The paprika smokiness exists only on the aftertaste, unfortunately. It’s great if you’re after a beefy dog, but I like my hot dogs with some zest.
Taste 3:
The casing here is almost plasticky. It’s snappy to the point of being suspicious. It’s significantly less meaty than Tastes 1 and 2 but has a nice earthy paprika presence. Still, this dog left me wanting.
Taste 4:
I can’t with this one. The casing is completely tough and for whatever reason it takes a few seconds for the flavor to really activate the palate. It’s flat and boring, no zest, no savory meat flavors, bad casing, an all-around bad dog.
Taste 5:
Great casing, there is a nice satisfying snap to this one revealing a juicy and salty beef flavor with a really nice texture and pronounced paprika smoke. This one is by far the saltiest of all the dogs, but I don’t hate it. It comes across as indulgent in all of the best ways.
Taste 6:
Goddammit, my editor was right. I don’t need eyes to know that this is the pork frankfurter. It’s sumptuous, deep, a tad sweet, and offers a different sort of smokiness to everything else on this list. It’s hickory, noticeably. There is so much depth and complexity here it’s astounding, and that’s coming from a person who always prefers a beef frank to pork.
Part 2: The Hot Dog Ranking
6. Simply Nature — Uncured Beef Hot Dogs (Taste 4)
Price: $4.99
I don’t know how I knew Simply Nature would be bad, but given the branding on this dog, it doesn’t surprise me. This was by far the worst hot dog we tried today, it’s bordering on inedible. Simply Nature is an Aldi brand and is USDA-certified organic, non-GMO, and made with grass-fed beef. It has a lot of selling points which might lead you to believe it’s good, but it’s not.
Not even kind of good.
The Bottom Line:
The price is nice but avoid this one at all costs.
5. Whole Foods Market 365 —Uncured Grass-Fed Beef Hot Dogs (Taste 3)
Price: $7.49
Rarely do I feel like hot dogs are a rip-off, you get what you pay for, but at Whole Foods I feel like I’m being straight-up scammed. Sure, this dog is organic, uncured, made with grass-fed beef, and certified USDA organic, but… so are a lot of hot dogs in 2023, so why is this one more expensive than so many other brands?
It certainly doesn’t taste better than the cheaper dogs, and it’s a lot thinner and less meaty than any other hot dog we tried today.
The Bottom Line:
This and sort of pathetic. It’s less meaty and less flavorful than the competition, but more expensive.
4. Teton Waters Ranch — Uncured Beef Hot Dogs (Taste 2)
Price: $6.49
This one took me by surprise. This is my go-to hot dog, it is made with Certified Humane Raised 100% grass-fed beef with no hormones or antibiotics, and nitrate and nitrite free. but those selling points are to blame for its slightly more expensive price tag.
From a flavor standpoint, this doesn’t stand far and above the rest. For that, we’re going to have to place this one squarely in the middle.
The Bottom Line:
Great selling points but it feels just a bit overpriced for what you get in terms of flavor.
3. Parkview — Uncured Angus Beef Franks (Taste 5)
Price: $3.99
Parkview is another Aldi brand and the cheapest hot dog we tried today. It punches way above its weight. It doesn’t have added nitrates or nitrites, like every other brand we tried, no by-products and no artificial preservatives, colors or flavors, but it’s not certified organic and it’s not made with grass-fed beef. Luckily, it turns out that those things don’t really matter when it comes to flavor.
Parkview’s Angus Beef Franks taste great, they’re wonderfully beefy, the casing is nice, and the paprika is prominent.
The Bottom Line:
Cheap and delicious, the way hot dogs should be.
2. Trader Joe’s — Uncured Beef Hot Dogs (Taste 1)
Price: $7.49
Trader Joe’s has two hot dogs, this one and a grass-fed organic version. Considering my editor already reviewed the grass-fed I figured I’d give these dogs a try, which for whatever reason are a dollar more. I’m paying more for a hot dog that isn’t grass-fed and organic? What the hell is going on here?
Whatever is going on, I’m not willing to complain because this hot dog is nearly perfect. It’s meaty and savory, smokey, a bit sweet, and has a near-perfect snappy casing. I’ve had the grass-fed version and was unimpressed, but in today’s tasting, this Uncured Beef Hot dog was the best beef hot dog we ate, by a considerable amount.
The Bottom Line:
Don’t be tempted by Trader Joe’s grass-fed organic hot dog, this is by far the better choice, and the best beef frank we ate in this tasting.
1. Olympia Provisions — Uncured Pork Frankfurter (Taste 5)
Price: $15
Remember when I said how hot dogs are just unwanted meat trimmings pureed into a casing? Not at Olympia Provisions. This foot-long frankfurter is made with pure pork shoulder with a natural lamb casing and the difference is readily apparent. Yes, this dog is twice the price of what you’ll find at most supermarkets, but it’s so worth it.
Every element is absolutely on point, the snap is perfect, the flavor is complex and takes your taste buds on a journey, and considering each hot dog is a foot long, it’s satisfying in a way that the other hot dogs aren’t. If you would’ve asked me if $15 per pack was a sensible price for a hot dog, I would’ve laughed in your face, but with how good this hot dog is, I’m stunned into silence.
The Bottom Line:
Adding your favorite hot dog toppings will only further elevate this already remarkable flavor. This is a must-eat, and we wouldn’t suggest you close out summer any other way. If you want to have your mind blown by a hot dog (did you even think that was a possibility?) pick up a pack of Olympia Provisions ASAP.
But be warned, you’re never going to want to settle for the cheaper brands after this. You’ll be ruined when it comes to hot dogs.