I’ve always been a thrill seeker but pulling escorts doesn’t feel fun anymore
DEAR DEIDRE: GAMBLING dens, all-nighters in strip clubs and glamorous girlfriends – I really thought I lived the high life.
But ten years on, everything feels so seedy now.
My friends aren’t interested any more and the only women I see are escorts. And I’m worried I’ve got STIs but I’m too scared to visit the doctors.
I’m a man of 30 and I hate the person I’ve become. At least I don’t gamble so much these days because I’ve had my fingers burned a few times and nearly had my flat repossessed.
It all went wrong when I got a job as a courier in London for a high-end boutique.
It’s a job I hate, but with tips, I always have lots of cash.
The money attracted the wrong type of attention and I was stupid enough to flash it around.
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I did have a couple of girlfriends but neither lasted when they realised I would put partying before them.
Now I’ve cut back on gambling, I can just about pay my bills and anything left over goes on sex workers. I’ve started to crave sex in risky places and get so caught up in the moment, I don’t take precautions.
Last night I was with an escort in my car on the street outside a chicken shop. Young lads in the shop were staring and laughing but in a few moments, I’d paid the girl and she had gone.
The mates I had are now earning good money and have all settled down but I love a bit of action and excitement.
Being sensible is not for me. I am ashamed, though.
Will I still be doing this in my fifties and sixties?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You paint a very sorry picture of yourself.
Addictions manifest themselves as a habit which turns into something you can’t stop, often to escape the reality of life.
My guess is that you’re lonely and depressed.
Approaching your GP would be a good place to start getting help.
You have every chance of turning things around now that you’ve taken the first step and admitted things aren’t so rosy for you.
You’ll find support through The Laurel Centre (thelaurelcentre.co.uk, 01926 339 594), which offers sex and porn addiction counselling around the UK, and online.
And please visit your health practitioner for STI testing, early detection is often key for effective treatment.
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