My top 10 NEW Chuck Norris jokes

It's still summer, and I hope you're still enjoying it. Are you?

I know school starts up for most students around the country in just a few weeks, but don't let it rush up on you quicker than it should.

There are so many stresses and responsibilities in this life. They often serve as our inadvertent alarm clocks in the morning and the reasons our minds can't get to sleep at night.

That's why my wife, Gena, and I laugh every day. We need to, as we are busy in a variety of global events like Comic-Con (recently in London), spearheading our new CForce Water Bottling company and our nonprofit foundation for middle-school students, Kickstart Kids. Not to mention writing my two weekly culture warrior column and health & fitness column.

I thought I'd pause from my often-serious subject matter in my columns to share something fun, funny, light and even inspirational that I just discovered.

Parade media and magazine, which has a readership of at least 54 million, recently ran an article, "101 Chuck Norris Jokes To Make You Laugh: But please don't tell Chuck Norris."

Well, guess what? I found out! Lol.

Led by its editor Anne Krueger since 2015, I've always enjoyed Parade magazine, which used to be in 700 newspapers across the U.S. for decades but now is exclusively online. Its mission is still the same: to "focus on what is trending at the intersection of pop culture and lifestyle."

For those who have somehow not heard of the so-called "Chuck Norris Facts," they are mythical expressions about my life and abilities – a collection of sayings, quips and quotes, created by young and old alike, that have elevated my life and tough-guy image to super-exaggerated hyperbolic ends.

The Chuck Norris Facts have also reconnected me to the younger generations. To some who know little of my martial arts or action-film careers but perhaps grew up with (reruns of) "Walker, Texas Ranger," it seems that I have become a somewhat mythical superhero. I am flattered and truly humbled.

Over a decade ago, I was asked by several publishing companies to write my 101 favorites. So, I finally did, and it's published in other languages as well: "The Official Chuck Norris Fact Book": 101 of my favorite Facts and stories about myself, with my personal reflections on each.

Of course, the Chuck Norris Facts didn't originate with me, and I don't create them. Actually, millions of people around the globe just like you did, and do. It's amazing that people still create and exchange them, as Parade online reported. People are always walking up to me and sharing their favorite.

Here I am on video back in May of this year on my official Facebook page sharing one of my favorite "Chuck Norris Facts."

Gena and I laughed hard again this past week when we read through Parade's list of 101 memes and jokes about me. They are all great and funny.

If you can use a little laugh or something to lift your or others' spirits, take a minute or two to read a few or even pass along the whole list here. Some Facts are older, and some are definitely new, but all of them will make you chuckle (no pun intended!).

Here are my top 10 from Parade's 101 list:

1. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
2. The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.
3. Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
4. Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
5. Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.
6. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
7. Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
8. Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
9. Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
10. Chuck Norris' belly button is actually a power outlet.

I laughed again when I typed them out.

The reason these "Facts" are so hilarious is that everyone knows I'm as human as anyone else. I know that might be hard for some of you jokesters to imagine! But it's true.

The real fact is, if my life can be used to bring a little levity into people's life around the world, I'm all for it. There's so much wrong going on today, and we can use a few more smiles and joy to go around.

Earlier this year, U.K.'s Daily Mail reported, "That's no joke: Half of us can't recall last time we laughed ... and a third haven't even had a giggle in a MONTH, survey shows."

The survey revealed three things about those in the United Kingdom:

• Nearly half of Britons are unable to remember the last time they laughed out loud.
• The average Briton laughs only three times a week, according to a new survey.
• Those wanting a laugh are most likely to succeed by looking at a funny meme.

That survey reminds me of an important life lesson. Maybe it's a good time for us all to reconsider it.

Life delivers enough hits to keep you serious. Maybe it's time to quit taking ourselves so seriously. As they say, no one else does!

With wars and rumors of wars everywhere around us, maybe it's time for me also to consider writing a volume two: "My 101 Favorite NEW Chuck Norris Facts: Laughter and Lightheartedness for a Wounded World." What do you think?

Laughter is still the best medicine.

(You can get my original "Official Chuck Norris Fact Book": 101 of my favorite Facts, with my personal reflections on each, at the WND Superstore today for a discounted cost of only $5. You might also subscribe to Whistleblower, one of my favorite news magazines containing insider info on our culture and politics, especially with the 2024 presidential race underway.)

Content created by the WND News Center is available for re-publication without charge to any eligible news publisher that can provide a large audience. For licensing opportunities of our original content, please contact licensing@wndnewscenter.org.

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