My lover is getting married and we are still having sex – I want to tell his fiancée
DEAR DEIDRE: MY lying lover is marrying another woman – but I still can’t resist having sex with him.
I am 31, and I rekindled my relationship with my first love last year.
We had been together for two years when we were 17 and, though we both went on to have long-term relationships, we never forgot one another.
When we met up a year ago the passion was still there and we had the most amazing sex.
It’s like rolling back the years. But I did get the feeling right from the start that he was telling me lies.
Sometimes he wouldn’t show when we had arranged to meet, or he would call me at the last minute, making an excuse.
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He never wanted me to visit his home and if we met it was always at my flat or his gym.
I didn’t have a clue that he was getting married to someone else though.
When he went completely AWOL for a couple of weeks, I started to worry about him and decided to go and talk to his father whom I have also known since I was a teenager.
His dad was surprised to see me and even more surprised when I told him what was going on between us.
He said his son was due to marry his girlfriend and that they have been together for three years.
After that, my lover admitted he has been lying. But he swears he still loves me.
We meet once a week and he texts me every day.
Last night he said he still wants to have sex with me after he is married.
He knows I’m madly in love with him and can’t live without him.
I don’t know if I can stand by while he gets married, say nothing and carry on like we are now. I want more.
Perhaps I should tell her the truth? At least then it will all be out in the open.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: If you tell his fiancée, my guess is he will be furious and you will never see or hear from him again.
What’s in this for you in the long term? You’ll always be the other woman, wondering if he’ll turn up.
He could choose to get out of his relationship now if it’s you he really wants.
Don’t settle for being the other woman. You fell madly in love because he keeps you on a string, only bestowing him attention when it suits him.
Cut him out and busy yourself and you’ll soon recover from the hold he has over you.
You would be well rid of him. Leave him to his fiancée – though I doubt he’s going to bring the poor woman much joy.
My support pack Addictive Love explains more.