I thought I was fat when I was thin – now I’m 10 sizes bigger and feel sexier than ever, my love life is better too
A MOTHER of one who’s now 10 dress sizes larger than she was on her wedding day had accepted she’ll never be a size eight again.
But though she admits she has more cellulite and “wobble” these days, she’s also more content and feels much sexier.
Gazing at her wedding photos, Frances Tatum, 38, barely recognizes herself as a size eight bride.
Though she never expects to be that slim again, she doesn’t wish to be, especially because her body gave her a longed-for baby.
Frances, who lives in Dorset, England, also admitted that her sex life has rocketed since gaining weight.
But the pounds didn’t creep on from overeating but rather during a traumatic pregnancy and birth, plus the months that followed.
This was due to a condition Frances was born with, Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS).
Frances tied the knot at 140 pounds but weighed 252 pounds after giving birth, putting on 112 pounds.
She said: “Family and friends often ask me when I will return to my wedding weight, but the answer is always the same, I won’t.
“It’s funny because when I was thin, I thought I was fat but now that I’m big, I feel much sexier.
“I have more cellulite than ever, I wobble more, and my boobs are bigger too.
“Overall, I’m far more content and less body-conscious than when I was slim.
“That’s probably why my sex life with my husband Oliver is the best it’s been too.
“Since becoming parents, we have an even deeper connection and with me being larger, I seem to have lost any worries and inhibitions, and instead feel empowered, sexy, and beautiful.”
Her husband Oliver Tatum, a 34-year-old sales engineer, said: “Our sex life has got better and better over the years because we’ve fallen more and more in love with each other.
“I continue to love her more every day, and now that she’s a bigger woman, our lovemaking has intensified as she’s more confident and comfortable with herself.
“It’s like she’s finally accepted herself for who she is, she’s not ashamed of her body anymore.
“When she was thinner, she was a lot more self-critical and anxious about her body but now we’ve had a child, she accepts who she is.”
Frances, a maxillofacial dental nurse, lives with a long list of symptoms daily due to the connective tissue disorder EDS.
The condition means her body doesn’t produce enough collagen and she was also once told she might never become a mother.
So Frances was thrilled to discover in October 2020 that she was expecting but a very difficult pregnancy followed.
She said: “From four weeks I was so unwell, my EDS got even worse and it was one problem after another.
“My heart stopped several times, I slipped a disc in my back, I dislocated numerous joints and became wheelchair bound, which has contributed to my eight-stone weight gain.
“I couldn’t even walk after giving birth at 38 weeks, I had a C-section and lost so much blood I nearly died.
“After becoming a mum, getting my pre-baby body back certainly wasn’t a priority.
“Magnus is now two and I have managed to lose two stone in that time, but I’ll never be that Priscilla Presley bride I once was again.
“I was stunningly thin and beautiful for mine and Oli’s big day, the whole event was a dream come true and an escape from the problems I have each day being disabled.
“Apart from my feet dislocating at the wedding, it was perfect.
“I’m glad I have my photos and wedding video to look back on, which I enjoy doing occasionally.
“But I’ve come to terms with my new body and actually, having my son Magnus was something I so desperately wanted, and he is so so loved.
“Being a mum is far more important than worrying about my weight anyway.
“I’m wheelchair-bound 75 percent of the time and I also use crutches.
“My joints dislocate 10-15 times a week, so exercise is almost impossible but I’m really enjoying embracing my curves, they make me feel more attractive.”
Frances feels there is no role model with EDS in the media to relate to, unlike other disabilities that are often represented by actors, actresses, and presenters on TV.
“There’s no one out there in the public eye like me,” she said.
“So I joined UGLY Models Agency to try and push EDS out there, being a disabled model is my dream.
“Sometimes I feel isolated, but I’m lucky to have such an incredible husband.
“Oliver and I have had the best and hardest 11 years together. We’re very much in love, but it’s been so hard at times.
“My EDS has got worse and worse over the years, and more challenging.
“Oli dresses me on the really horrific days, brushes my hair when I can’t because of painful hands, holds a bucket underneath me in bed while I’m sick, and showers me when I can’t.
“That kind of thing can take its toll on any marriage, but we really are stronger than ever.
“I would say 21 hours of each day I can’t get out of bed, I struggle to walk and I can’t eat properly.
“I have actually lost two stone naturally since giving birth to Magnus but now I’m 16 and a half stone and a size 18, I’m happy with how I look.
“Plus, Oliver finds me sexier now I’m big because I love myself more and I’m happier, and that’s attractive to him.”
Oliver said: “Communication has always been at the forefront of our relationship.
“We talk about everything and always have, we’ve had a lot of bumps along the road but have always managed to work through them.
“Frances is a phenomenal mother, even when she’s bedbound she’ll sit with Magnus and do stickers with him for hours.
“She doesn’t let her mobility issues affect our son.”
Frances said: “My weight gain has helped me to feel liberated and I’m no longer afraid of who I am.
“Before becoming a mother, I was ashamed of who I was without makeup and glamor.
“As a disabled mother, I’m utterly proud of who I am.
“My future may be uncertain and my health will get worse with time, but I’m surrounded by love and support.
“I am living every day to the best I can and part of that has been finally finding happiness with my body.”