The Time To Speak Up Is Now: How HIV Honesty Can Save Lives

Well, where should I start? 

Many people living with the human condition of HIV think that they will never find love, or they are very afraid of the stigma and shame HIV carries. They’re extremely afraid of dating and disclosing and would rather stay alone, or not disclose until after the fact which is very dangerous, or could backfire because of lack of honesty due to fear. I can tell you I have never been rejected even before “Undetectable equals Untransmittable” better known as U=U. In case you don’t know, U=U means that a person living with HIV is on an effective treatment plan and the virus is so low that it’s not traced in the blood and they cannot pass HIV on to anyone sexually. Science has advanced a lot in these 40 years and I am one of the global ambassadors for the fierce movement that fought every global medical establishment to finally come out and say the truth: we are not infectious. And this truth has set us free to not live with the burden of passing HIV to our partners. 

But even with disclosure, I can attest that I have not had a single rejection on dating apps, or in person. I am extremely public, and I immediately direct anyone to my social media, which boldly has “HIV” in the middle of my name. When men or women are on my social media, I direct them to Google me where they can see it in my bio and in all my social networks. They either immediately ask and I educate them, or they are already educated, as I have extensive information in all my social media outlets about living and thriving with HIV.

I proudly stand as a global ambassador for The Well project and as a CAB  member which is an organization specifically for women and girls who are living with HIV or are affected by it nationally and globally. We are here to lead by example and empower other women which is the key to not only surviving, thriving, and living with HIV but also to making others understand that it’s no longer the 80s or 90s. People can get married; have children; go to school. Some women are even breastfeeding– I never thought I would ever see that. As a 35-year survivor, I have seen science advance astronomically, and being diagnosed with HIV no longer feels like a death sentence. When I was diagnosed in 1991, it felt like I wouldn’t be here much longer but I am and I continue to live and tell my story.

My mission is very simple: give hope to the hopeless and save lives. One of my biggest fights is against the HIV stigma because stigma is the biggest killer and as ACTUP New York said “silence equals death.” Lack of education and fear fuels stigma, leading people to not take their medication or get STI testing. And frankly, those who are passing HIV are those who are not getting tested and passing it to others unknowingly so please get tested. 

Get educated and understand that as a human being living with HIV that’s undetectable, not only am I saving my own life, but I’m saving other people’s lives as well. HIV stops with me.