I spent my 20s pursuing my passions instead of money. Is it too late for me to catch up?

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• For Love & Money is a biweekly column from Insider answering your relationship and money questions.
• This week, a reader wonders if they made the wrong choice pursuing their passions in their 20s.
• Our columnist says it's not too late to find a balance between financial security and happiness.
• Got a question for our columnist? Write to For Love & Money using this Google form.

Dear For Love & Money,

My career path has been somewhat unconventional. I held several jobs before I turned 30, pursuing learning, growth, and taking on new opportunities.

But now I am in my early 30s, and I feel behind on my financial path. It's not that I regret these opportunities, and I know that happiness doesn't equate to financial security, but sometimes I look around at others in my family and at people who took that traditional path and am somewhat envious of their security (not the life they built).

How do I find satisfaction in my work and lifestyle while balancing that with financial security? Is that even possible?

Sincerely,

Confused Career Switcher

Dear Confused,

I've dreamed of being a writer since I was a little girl. In my vision of the future, I saw myself as a 21st-century Jo March, toiling away in a cozy attic space before sending my manuscript out to the applause of publishers and audiences across the globe.

Here I am at 34, writing this in my bedroom with the door shut to block out the noise of my husband's conference call, a tab open to my email, and an alarm set on my phone to remind me to pick my children up from school. It's more "Tiny Beautiful Things" than "Little Women" — but I am a writer. I'm living my childhood dream.

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And yet, last Saturday morning, I hit a curb and popped my tire, and apparently, that tire staying tight and bouncy was the only thing between me and a complete emotional breakdown. Adult life is so full of responsibilities, expectations, and financial stressors that here I am living my wildest dreams, and there are days I still feel like I'm drowning.

I tell you this because you asked if balancing your lifestyle and work with financial security is possible. The answer is emphatically yes, and it still may not look anything like you imagine.

You're at a crossroads. Should you stay on the nontraditional path and keep taking life as it comes? Or is it time to cross over to the track the rest of your family took and start planning ahead?

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I want to encourage you that your passions can become your career plan. Mine did. But I also want to warn you that saying, "Do what you love, and you'll never work a day in your life," is complete baloney.

Being a grownup is hard work, so choose hard work that feels worthwhile to you. For some people, that means feeling like they're making the world a better place. For others, it means their hard work is keeping them financially secure. For others (like me), it means turning my hobby into my day job, and for others still, that hard work is less about the work itself and more about the time and flexibility that work affords them to live the rest of their life. These are all valid motivations; the key is ensuring that whatever motivates you is reflected in your career path.

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You sound like your passion might be learning. All kinds of vocations will allow you to keep learning and growing and help you with your retirement plans. You mentioned knowing that "happiness doesn't equate to financial security," and you're right. Joy and security are two separate experiences, but both are essential to thriving as a person.

Having a financial plan alongside learning, growth, and new opportunities isn't selling out; it's having the wisdom to recognize that your future is on you.

In your letter, it's clear that much of your anxiety is due to comparing yourself to others. You mention feeling behind. But are you behind? You're in your early 30s, meaning you just finished your 20s. Everyone is starting out in their 20s. For many people, this looks like entry-level jobs and higher education; your approach has been unique.

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But that doesn't mean you're behind — only that you're not running an ordinary route. So far, you've been doing adulthood your way and enjoying it. Don't waste a minute regretting these choices that brought you so much satisfaction simply because other people's different choices brought them money.

You spent your 20s building a foundation for a life just like they did, so stay focused on your foundation. Since the comfort of financial security has become more important to you, begin framing your life to include it. Do it your way — just like you did with the foundation.

I suggest you think long and hard about what personal achievement means to you. Is it fame? Adventure? Wealth? Learning everything there is to know about your areas of interest? Do this honestly and non-judgmentally.

Let's say you choose adventure. Research and figure out how to make a livelihood as an adventurer. I once took a white water raft tour with a guide who had, at various times in his life, been a race car driver, a stuntman, a fly fishing coach, and finally, a white water raft guide. Talk about an adventurous life! And he wasn't hurting for cash, because his adventures were his work. Get creative and reach for your dreams with both hands, and make sure those dreams pay.

Rooting for you,

For Love & Money

Looking for advice on how your insurance, debt, or another financial challenge is affecting your relationships? Write to For Love & Money using this Google form.