My four-year love affair with a fit first aider has hit a wall

DEAR DEIDRE: MY lover is beautiful, great fun and I see my future with her, but after a four-year affair I’m starting to worry I’ll only ever be second best.

We met practising the kiss of life on a dummy when she was overseeing a first-aid course that I was on.

Her reputation preceded her though, as me and my workmates all refer to her as “Hot HR”.

We didn’t know her but she’s stunning and really stood out.

So when she was on my course and most definitely flirting with me, I was thrilled.

We went from practising mouth to mouth to real-life kissing, sex, and then a full-blown affair.

She had told me early on that she was married but said it was a ­mistake she now regretted.

I’m a man of 31 and my lover is 39. I’ve been locked into this affair for years without it moving forward.

Her husband has a daughter with severe disabilities from his first wife.

He takes turns with his ex-wife looking after her in their adapted home.

When her husband helps his ex-wife on holiday with their ­daughter, we go away too — acting like a normal couple.

This woman has promised me countless times that she will leave her husband but it never happens.

I can’t see her ever leaving and we argued about it last week.

I ended up storming round to tell her it was over, but as soon as she slid her arms around my neck we ended up in bed again.

My guess is her husband thinks their marriage is rosy. She’s having her cake and eating it while he’s away.

DEIDRE SAYS:  You fill in those empty gaps on her terms so there’s no incentive for her to commit to you.

She’s led you a merry dance for a big chunk of your life, so how long are you prepared to put everything on hold for her?

My support pack Your Lover Not Free? will help you think this through.

Don’t give in to her no-strings, dead-end seduction. Determine to end this affair.

Stick to your guns and concentrate on boosting your social life instead.

Give yourself a chance to find someone else who will make you their number one priority.

Staying with her will ultimately mean more heartbreak.

Pictures posed by models.