The Runner Stumbles
Colorado’s very own congressperson, the twice elected Rep. (R) Lauren Boebert of the 3rd Congressional District, was caught misbehaving during a theater presentation of Beetlejuice at the Denver Center for the Performing Arts the other day. Besides vaping and some very mild hooliganism, she was caught on surveillance video making out with her date. Like many others who have attended Beetlejuice, they couldn’t resist the urgent pull of their tingly bits. You may recall that Pee Wee Herman had a similar problem as well.
Let me emphasize that there is nothing wrong with making out, mind you. I know many who claim to have done this. After all, this was the true purpose of the drive-in movie theater in years past. Heaven only knows how many solid citizens walking around today were conceived at a drive-in. I think that the move away from bench seating in the automobile had a negative effect in this. But I digress.
Colorado’s 3rd District covers quite a bit of turf as you can see. Most of it is somewhat vertical so the overall population density is low, thus the large size. A lot like Wyoming. There is a bit of agriculture but no real corn and soybean acreage like a proper farm state.
As with other western states, Colorado has a mix of folks of polar opposite politics who each have concentrated into separate zones. Running down the middle of the state is most of the population stretching down to but not including Colorado Springs. This is the urban corridor along interstate highway I-25. This band of settlements has for the last few election cycles voted majority Democrat. This includes the I-70 corridor running west halfway to Utah. There are scattered islands of liberalism like Durango smack in the middle of Boebert country. I feel for them- really I do.
Some have tried to explain away Boebert’s behavior as being not uncommon for a refugee from that Fertile Crescent of sweaty redneck-ism, Florida. She is after all a pistol packin’ grandma at age 36 and close to being properly “deevorced”. Regardless of her background, she has lifted herself from the obscurity of the swamps to become a full-throated Centurion of MAGAstan. It is a real accomplishment.
America is now a place where audio and video tapes of titillating content starring national politicians will not lead to their downfall. Instead they get an uptick in their popularity by rabid apologists who will make urgent counter-claims about Hunter’s laptop. MAGA folk cheer like people do at a professional wrestling match- with vigor and encouragement.
East of the I-25 corridor you soon encounter another conservative swatch of the state between two state panhandles- Nebraska and Oklahoma. Through what I suspect were underhanded dealings in the past, Oklahoma is said to have been paid to be a buffer between Colorado and Texas. Many will say that this was a smart move.
In Colorado we have two bookend corridor cities that are well known for their politics. Boulder, northwest of Denver, is to Colorado what San Francisco is to California, but without Silicon Valley. It is liberal progressive and a bit on the exotic side. The Hippie movement arrived in the 60’s and never faded away completely. No one bats an eye when weird news funnels out of there. It’s expected.
Colorado Springs, on the other hand, is deeply entangled with far-right conservatism with no small amount of evangelical Christianity. Add to this mix a large population of conservative retired military and you have something special. The city plays host to the North American Defense Command, NORAD, deep within Cheyenne Mountain southwest of town. You can bet that the Russians and Chinese have the exact coordinates of this facility. The US Air Force Academy resides in the forest north of town. Sitting at the base of Pikes Peak, the town enjoys considerable scenic splendor and a conservative upper middle-class tenor. None of my liberal friends contemplate moving there no matter how splendiferous the place may be. It’s a cryin’ shame.
It will be interesting to see if Lauren gets reelected in 2024 given her antics. I have a sick feeling that she will be reelected. It is one of those “she may be an idiot, but she’s OUR idiot” things that MAGAstan people do. We’ll see.