Harriette Cole: My co-worker cornered me about my son, and I was very uncomfortable

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a female co-worker in her 30s with whom I’ve developed a great friendship over the past few months.

A few days ago, she came over for a family gathering I was having. While she was at my house, she met my son (also in his 30s), and the two of them seemed to hit it off very well. They were very close and cuddly all night. I honestly didn’t mind since they are both consenting adults.

However, at work today, she kind of cornered me and asked why my son hadn’t called her. I asked her to please leave me out of it, but I can tell she’s still bothered.

What should I do?

— Messy Situation

DEAR MESSY SITUATION: You certainly don’t want to get in the middle of whatever is budding between your co-worker and your son, but you may want to step in and set some guidelines for both of them.

You were right to tell her that she has to handle her business and that you cannot be involved.

Still, since it is your son, you should speak to him and ask him what his intentions are. Remind him that this woman works with you, so however he treats her will directly impact you. Ask him to decide what’s on his mind. If he doesn’t plan to see her again, ask him to tell her nicely that he had fun but doesn’t plan to take it further. If he wants to see her again, he should tell her that and act accordingly.

Point out that you do not intend to be in the middle of a potential relationship, but you do need him to treat her with respect — as you would expect of him in any relationship. Tell him to remember that this is your co-worker, so you are automatically involved even though you don’t want to be.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently went on a group trip with some friends where we stayed in a nice rental house. Unfortunately, I got assigned to a small room with a bunk bed.

Although it was initially fine, I found myself feeling uncomfortable and cramped. I made the decision to switch to a hotel where I could have a large room all to myself for the remainder of the trip. I still hung out with my friends during the day and did group activities; I just didn’t stay on the rental property with them.

My friends seemed really hurt and irritated that I stayed in a hotel instead of with them, but I did it for reasons of comfort and not because I didn’t want to be around them.

They said the fact that I didn’t stay under the same roof with them took away from the group trip experience. Was I in the wrong?

— Smallest Room

DEAR SMALLEST ROOM: Did you express your dismay about the room before you left? You could have told them all about your discomfort and asked if anyone wanted to switch with you. Giving them the chance to step up might have helped.

In the end, it is understandable that they felt you abandoned them and equally understandable that you chose to put your head down on a comfortable bed.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.