If You Think Teens Are Too Old to Trick-or-Treat, Consider This

When my children were little, I was deeply irritated by older kids — kids that I arbitrarily decided were “too old” to trick-or-treat — coming to my door on Halloween. Didn’t they have better things to do than take candy meant for kids who are actual trick-or-treating age? Shouldn’t they be at some sort of high school Halloween party? I never turned them away, of course, but inside I was rolling my eyes. I even groused about it publicly on my blog one year, writing that teenagers should stick to handing out candy or toilet papering people’s houses or something. It was a hill I thought I’d die on.

Then my own kids grew into teens, and suddenly I realized what an ignorant jerk I’d been. Just like non-parents who give parenting advice (and we all know how much that sucks!), I was the mom who’d never had teenagers trying to dictate how teenagers should act. I’m ashamed to admit it now, but hey — you know better, you do better, right?

There are tons of reasons why older trick-or-treaters might come to your door. They may have special needs, or just be big for their age and look like teens; my 11-year-old, for example, is nearly as tall as my sophomore. They might be taking a younger sibling around, or gathering candy on behalf of someone who’s sick or otherwise unable. And for those, or any other reasons, who cares? As long as they aren’t being rude or disruptive, parting with a few fun-sized candy bars isn’t going to kill you.

Beyond those, though, lies another, more heart-wrenching reason — the one that opened my eyes (and softened my heart). The one that took me until my own kids were teenagers to grasp.

Every single day, teens are doing things that take them one step closer to their adult lives. They’re at an age when they’re pulling away from so many things they loved when they were little. There’s no more Tooth Fairy. No more Santa Claus. No more bedtime stories. No more bath toys. No more being in awe of spotting their favorite characters at a theme park; now those characters are just people in a costume. For kids this age, the magic of childhood is fading fast. As a mom of teens, I’m witnessing firsthand how the wonderments of their childhood are slipping through my fingers — no matter how tightly I try to hold onto them. I’m left wondering where my babies went, as things they used to love are relegated to “kid stuff.”

But there’s still something magical about trick-or-treating. It’s one of the few childhood activities that doesn’t lose its luster for teenagers. Choosing a costume, going from house to house seeing who can collect the most candy, and then dumping out their haul to sort and trade with their siblings or friends is still fun and exciting. So if there’s something they can do as teens that will still bring the kind of joy they had when they were little, you better believe I’m fully on board, because those things are becoming increasingly rare. And nothing brings a parent more happiness than seeing joy on their kids’ faces, whether those kids are toddlers or grownups.

Sure, some kids do reach a point where they choose on their own to “age out” of trick-or-treating. But whether that’s 12 or 14 or 17 is not for me, or anyone else, to decide. Inside every teenager who’s “too old” to trick-or-treat are the remnants of an eager little kid who’s slowly being phased out by maturity and societal expectations. They’re walking a weird and awkward line between being excited about the privileges that come with adulthood and being excited about things usually reserved for little kids. And for this one night, the little kid in them wins out.

In a few short years, the last of those childhood thrills will slip away, and even trick-or-treating will be a memory. They have the rest of their lives to buy their own candy; for this one night, if it means they can hold onto that Halloween magic for just a little longer, I’ll gladly donate some of mine.