My self-esteem has been on the floor since my wife made a jibe about my penis

DEAR DEIDRE: EVER since my wife made a jibe about my penis being small, my self-esteem has been on the floor. 

Now, whenever we have sex it’s all I can think about and no matter what I do I can’t shake the underlying feeling that I’m not big enough for her.

She’s 42, I’m 46 and we’ve been married for 13 years. 

Throughout my life, I’ve always known my size was below average, but I thought my wife had never minded. 

Yet two weeks ago I overheard her laughing her head off on the phone with a friend and I couldn’t help myself from asking her what was so funny.

She went on to tell me about a time before we met when she almost slept with a man but had to stop in her tracks when she saw the size of his penis.

She couldn’t contain her laughter and told me it was the size of a pea.

I jokingly asked if he was smaller than me to which she replied “I couldn’t say”.

I wanted to believe that she was joking, but a part of me knew that there was some seriousness to her comment. 

She could tell I was hurt and quickly apologised, promising me she didn’t mean it. Yet, ever since then I can’t get it off my mind. 

My confidence has hit at an all-time low. I feel so unworthy. 

DEIDRE SAYS: It’s understandable that you are hurt at your wife’s comment.

If you already had insecure feelings about your size then it’s natural this would intensify that.

However, if she’s apologised and until this point hasn’t complained about your sex life, then it could just have been an insensitive joke.

Tell your wife exactly how it made you feel and that her laughter was immature and callous. 

If you’re still struggling with low self-esteem, my support pack Penis Size can help.