How do I tell my boyfriend I’ve been faking orgasms for months?
DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend can’t tell the difference between me faking it and genuinely orgasming.
I don’t think I’m very convincing but as long as I utter a couple of moans, he thinks I am climaxing and enjoying sex, but nothing could be further from the truth.
I am 32 and he is 35. We have been together for three years. At first I used to orgasm easily as I was very turned on, but now I don’t get as aroused, no matter how much foreplay there is.
We previously used vibrators, but since we stopped, my orgasms have vanished.
I have no problems when I pleasure myself. My boyfriend doesn’t realise there is a problem and seems content with our sex life.
This has been going on for at least six months so how do I tell him the truth now?
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DEIDRE SAYS: You’ve got yourself into a trap. If you fake it, how can your boyfriend to know things have changed?
Have a chat with him away from the bedroom so he knows he needs to change technique – perhaps reintroducing sex toy play – to pleasure you.
Show him what works well for you and don’t be tempted to pretend or you’ll be back to square one.
It can be really overwhelming talking about changes in desire but unless you take that leap of faith, your responses will remain numbed.
I’m sending you my support pack Help Your Partner Reach Orgasm.