‘WE DON’T DO FRIENDLIES’

The weekend of results worked for Arsenal, mostly.

Newcastle dropped 2 against Wolves.

Chelsea LOST to Brentford… give me some ha ha haaaaas

… and United lost to Manchester City.

Now, that’s not a great result for us. But I still have unfinished business with all the people I fought with over EtH. He’s the last manager on the list that people said we should have hired.

My friends, where are you now? SPEAK UP!

Crying, again, because you went up against my agenda and ended up face-first in the mud with the folk that said things like

‘Conte is elite because he hates mayo in the dressing room’

‘Tuchelball is needed at the carpet’

‘Jose Mourinho is a changed man’

‘Emery is my daddy’

Now I own you, I ask just one thing of you… join me in feeding the Eddie Nketiah propaganda machine. I am sure we’re seeing heaven with this angle!

I’ve enjoyed watching Eddie get his flowers after his hat trick. I made an error yesterday, he’s won us THREE penalties this season and scored 7 goals. He is many things – but below the Arsenal standard? I don’t think so. What he does need is a run of goals. I want to see him impress more with his finishing and I want to see him show up more prominently in the bigger games he’ll have to play over the next three weeks.

Sorry… I diverged from where I was taking this.

Erik Ten Haag. The man is in deep, deep trouble at this point. His talent ID has been way off for starters. A prominent Arsenal podcaster actually argued with me on the internet that Ajax should PASS on teh £90m. Yep, that was a real argument and people chimed in and agreed. I think it’s time to cash that cheque… Ajax should be going to court for knowingly over-selling an asset. One of the worst signings in Premier League history, because this wasn’t even a Jadon like move, everyone know Antony was terrible… even Ajax fans. He didn’t have good numbers in Holland. You can’t be buying a player out of Eredivisie unless they’re dropping 35 assists and 22 goals a season. United did and it is utterly hilarious.

Then look at the rest of the players his bought. Mason Mount sat on the bench. Harry McGuire is back in the starting 11. Hojland is complaining in the media he’s only 20… fair, but come on, who blew £85m on a player that wasn’t ready to lead the line?

Mr Ten Haag. How have you landed on a line-up like this?

The man who said ‘we don’t do friendlies’ after his side beat us up in preseason has 15 points from 10 games. He’s lost 50% of his league games this season. The leaks from the United camp have never been more ferocious. Players are angry about the treatment of legends, there’s chatter of an agent who has had his fingers in too many transfer pies, and some of the limp decisions on ‘upgrades’ are stinging him.

What we are witnessing, in case you didn’t realise, is the slow march to managerial death.

If you can’t fix the culture after spending £400m, you are never going to do it. His biggest challenge there is he’s trying to cut out the toxic elements of the club… but he, himself, is a toxic manager. There’s always someone to blame. It’s never him. He dragged a player with mental health issues, tried to reintegrate a sullied player, binned De Gea when there was allegedly a deal on the table, but he still has 78 excuses as to why United are where they are.

I’m going to be bold here: He is not him.

The best managers in the league have social EQ in abundance.

I know, I know, we’ve critiqued Arteta on this a number of times. Our own manager is a savage. A brute. A sword-wielding football barbarian. But… when he swings, he kills. That’s not happening at United and now their manager is the one limping because he gave enemies a way back in. If you murder in football, you need to have buy-in. Mikel had that with Auba, not sure EtH had that with De Gea or some of the other decisions.

My one hope? That the big dawg media figures focus the blame on the Glazers and the toxic dressing room. Give EtH more time, he’ll do NOTHING with it. And that would please me.

Ok, get this podcast in your ears RIGHT NOW. x