What VICE Readers Bought This Month: Creak-Proof Bed Frames and Sound Bars
Boo! It’s Halloween, fellow gremlins. Although we’re currently eating our body weight in Reese’s chocolate peanut butter pumpkins, we’re already buckling up for the 100-foot wave of holiday gift hunting that’s just around this corner. All this shopping apparently works up an appetite, but thankfully, it’s almost time for dinner. As October draws to a close, let’s revisit the best-selling products of the month—the ones you, dear VICE reader, couldn’t get enough of.
In September, VICE readers snagged a steeply discounted Birkenstock Boston Clog lookalike, pheromone perfume for elevating their sex appeal, and Sakara subscriptions for bougie vegan meal delivery. Things got a bit spookier for October. The 12-foot Home Depot skeleton stepped a bit out of the spotlight this year, but chef’s (kiss) knives and cloud-like running shoes both stepped up, along with an affordable soundbar to help deliver the most immersive audio experience when re-watching The Exorcist. Here’s all the best-selling stuff VICE readers bought during October, from a luxe electric toothbrush to male sex toys.
An affordable Japanese steel chef’s knife
Slicing and dicing have never been easier thanks to this multi-functional and chrome Imarku chef’s knife. The blade is made from Japanese stainless steel and has an ultra-sharp edge to chop every last bit of ribeye, making it one of our favorite additions to our short list of the best chef’s knives under $100. A taste of Japan for 43% off? We love that you can have it delivered straight to your door instead of enduring a 10-hour flight.
A pocket blow job
Haven’t been sucked off since last winter break? Sad. But you’re apparently not alone. EINSEO’s Automatic Sucking Male Masturbator was a big hit with VICE readers thanks to its seven vibration levels, three suction modes, and silent setting for discreet personal rendezvous. Enjoy, Brad.
A sound bar offering IMAX-quality sound for your pad
Surround sound is a must-have for your abode. Are you seriously going to listen to your favorite “alpha male” podcast at anything less than window-shaking volume? Seems beta to us. We kid, but this Vizio soundbar was a hit during Amazon’s Prime Big Deal Days for a reason. Perhaps because it’s vetted by our editorial staff, is easy to set up, and is described as being “an optical illusion for your ears.” Noice.
Whitening strips that actually work
Our editor is a massive fan of the Crest 3D Whitestrips and noticed a difference with just two uses. “The yellow tinge [of my teeth] was completely gone and I was only a fifth of the way through the kit. After another two strips, I once again noticed a huge difference,” she wrote in her ode to the product. This could be you (or maybe it already is) since the kit is $20 off.
…And an electric toothbrush that does it all
Or, perhaps your chompers are way too sensitive for whitening strips (sigh). No worries, since our writer Nicolette Accardi swears by the Philips Sonicare ProtectiveClean 5100 for combating coffee stains. “I’ve noticed my teeth have gotten significantly whiter after just a month of use,” she wrote. Amazing.
The French-girl favorite that arrived stateside
Gwyneth Paltrow loves Homeoplasmine, the cult-fave French nipple care product that’s become an all-purpose skincare hit in the US and is now available on Amazon. It’s a non-greasy, matte ointment that helps you achieve hydrated and glowing skin for way less money than literally anything on the Goop website.
A recovery drink that promises to keep you buff
Feelin’ like an old sack? BioTrust claims it will help you maintain muscle mass without having to do any hard labor (aka actually moving your body). That’s a lofty claim, which we explored in this article—but enough readers were convinced that they wanted to give it a shot for themselves.
A peel-off mask that’s psycho-approved
This may not be a lemon herb mint facial mask, but we expect Patrick Bateman would still use this in his skincare regime, which we broke down in serious detail after a rewatching of American Psycho. And you apparently love it, too.
The sneaker runners can’t get enough of
On Running’s Cloudstratus sneaker may have just launched a new edition, but the older model is now 20% off and is just as great. These sneakers made our writer Nicolette Accardi run a personal record during the New Balance 5th Avenue Mile, so pick up a pair just in time for marathon szn.
A chic bed for non-squeaky boning sessions
Platforms are not just for boots. This highly-rated platform bed frame by Thuma comes in minimalist wood finishes and made our cut for the best sturdy bed frames for sex that won’t creak during romp sessions. There will be no squeaking in this house!
Don’t forget to buy that electric toothbrush if you’re currently face-first in a bag of Halloween candy.
The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.