My husband’s poor personal hygiene is driving me to divorce
DEAR DEIDRE: I FEEL ashamed when people find out I’m married to my husband because he smells so bad.
He doesn’t shower or even wash and wears the same clothes every day. I’m at the point of asking for a divorce.
We’ve been married for 25 years. I’m 52 and he’s 60.
He’s never cared much about personal hygiene – he said one bath a week is enough and deodorant is for girls – but over the past few years it’s got a lot worse.
He has stopped shaving, only occasionally cleans his teeth and never cleans or cuts his toenails. He smells of stale sweat and urine.
I refuse to sleep in the same room as him. The idea of us having sex makes me feel sick.
We don’t go out anymore because I can’t go out in public with him. I’ve lost half my friends.
When I say something, he agrees to have a shower, but then goes back to the same filthy habits. Please help.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your husband may be depressed, which is why he no longer cares about hygiene.
Tell him how worried you are and that you feel your relationship is at risk.
Ask him if anything is bothering him and offer to make him a GP appointment.
My support pack, Standing Up For Yourself, might help you with your talk with him, and my pack Depression would be useful for both of you to read.