Miss Manners: How do I keep my wife’s art off our walls without a blowup?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: We just had our living room repainted and redecorated. Unbeknownst to me, my wife, an accomplished photographer, had one of her photos blown up to a 3-foot-by-4-foot canvas print and wants to hang it in the newly minted living room.
Only problem is, I don’t like the photo, and I really don’t want that size of photo hanging in our living room — especially when we have artwork from around the world that used to be on the walls before we painted them.
How do I tell her I’d prefer not to have that print on the wall without this exploding in my face? Yes, I know sugar goes a long way to sweeten things, but this is a sensitive spot.
GENTLE READER: “I like it the way we had it before. You arranged those other pieces so beautifully. Wouldn’t that photo look fabulous in your office?”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m flying to corporate headquarters for a daylong meeting with stakeholders next week. I just received the itinerary, and lunch, happy hour and dinner will be provided for us.
For health reasons, I typically eat five small meals per day. Would it be uncouth to bring a banana or string cheese to snack on between the provided meals? Is having a personal snack during a group meeting inappropriate?
GENTLE READER: Personal snacks may be enjoyed during breaks, but unless you are prepared to share, put them away during meetings. String cheese and bananas may prove a distraction for those who did not think ahead like you — and cause a workplace coup.
In fact, you will have to excuse Miss Manners, as she can now think of nothing else.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I went over to a friend’s house for drinks. There were only three of us there. The host had laid out some nibbles, and I brought some homemade crackers as a contribution.
The host did not eat any of my crackers until I was about to leave — the gathering was over and both of us guests were leaving at the same time. She tasted one, declared it delicious, then dumped the entire bowl on her platter.
I was so astonished, I said nothing.
Had they all been eaten during the course of the party, I would have been delighted. But since there were quite a few left over, I had planned to take them home. I guess I should have said, “So glad you enjoyed them.”
What is the proper etiquette for leftovers when bringing food to a party?
GENTLE READER: Once unsolicited outside food is brought into someone else’s home, it acquires squatter’s rights and may reasonably be expected to be the property of the homeowner. Solicited goods (as in potluck items) have murkier rules, as such items usually come in containers that need to be returned.
So while your friend’s timing was unfortunate, it was reasonable, in Miss Manners’ estimation, for her to have expected that the crackers were a present and now belonged to her. And apparently only to her.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.