Miss Manners: I was at the game, too, but I lied to my friend about it
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a fan of a local sports team, and I have a friend with season tickets. Any time they are unable to attend, they offer to sell me the tickets.
The problem is that they want to sell them to me at full price, when I can easily go online and purchase tickets on the secondhand market for much cheaper. This makes me feel taken advantage of.
When we come together later to talk about the game, I am uncomfortable lying and pretending like I didn’t go, but I am also uncomfortable telling them that their asking price for the tickets is unreasonable. What is my best approach to this situation?
GENTLE READER: “I was able to go after all, and found tickets elsewhere. How about that seventh inning?”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Growing up, I was as bad a student as could be. I messed around so much, it felt like my entire childhood I was being chased by school officials or my parents.
I was lucky that both my parents were educators who exposed me to the world, but I did not graduate from high school and never read a book until adulthood.
This all flipped when I was around 20, and I wound up earning five degrees. (The first one was really tough and painful to get!) I really enjoy the new interests I’ve been exposed to and the things I’ve learned. Most of the time, my very educated friends feel so enriching to be around.
But sometimes when I go back home, old friends or acquaintances who are not as educated will call me weird for the way I talk about or see the world. It feels a little like an insult — like I am weird for knowing there are 2 trillion galaxies. It’s just odd to be chastised for knowing something.
There is something beautiful about knowledge, and it just seems so normal to me. I am sure down deep inside, they feel inadequate at times, but it feels odd for me to address this. I honestly do not know what to say when it happens.
GENTLE READER: Remember when you got that first degree and it was really tough? Miss Manners encourages you to ask yourself why.
Did everyone around you seem smarter? Were some even sanctimonious about your ignorance on certain subjects?
No doubt, you never called them weird, and therein lies the difference. But if you can be patient with your less-educated friends, the way your parents and educators were with you, it might similarly inspire them.
If all else fails and your enthusiasm is still not catching, you may innocently say, “Oh. I thought it was cool, not weird. But I guess that’s subjective.” And then resist defining “subjective.”
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.