I went on a 3-day cocaine binge after finding out I was pregnant – I spent so much on it I couldn’t buy PJs for my son

SARAH Ibrahim was so shocked to find she was pregnant that she went on a three-day cocaine binge to drown out the fear.

But when the comedown hit, she soberingly realised that her baby may have been sent to save her life – and went cold turkey from the class-A drug for the rest of her pregnancy. 

SARAH IBRAHIM

Sarah has bravely spoken about how her addiction got in the way of parenting[/caption]

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The 42-year-old relapsed three months after her son was born and found herself spending so much money on cocaine that she couldn’t buy pyjamas for him. 

“Almost every evening, after putting him in his crib, I’d creep out of his room and chop up lines of coke,” she says. 

“I was terrified that one of the teachers at my son’s nursery school would find out and report me.”

Now clean, Sarah helps other addicts quit drugs and regain some quality of life. 

However, her journey wasn’t linear.

She tried cocaine for the first time at 20-years-old and within seven years, it had taken hold of her life. 

“I left my steady job at a bank to work in a series of temporary positions where it wasn’t so important to show up,” Sarah, from Essex, tells Insider. 

“I’d start my 72-hour benders on a Thursday afternoon, skip work on Friday, and keep going until Sunday night. I’d wake up in a daze in the same clothes I’d worn since Thursday. 

“My whole life revolved around coke, booze, and cigarettes.”

She describes her drug addiction as a “never-ending cycle” that fractured her family relationships as she was so “moody and unreliable”. 

Sarah found out she was pregnant in 2018 after having a one-night stand with a friend. 

“I had a total meltdown and decided to have an abortion,” she recalls. “I was 36 but nowhere near ready to have a baby. I couldn’t look after myself, let alone another person.

“I found out in the early afternoon and hit the bar a few hours later. I went on another three-day bender. 

“It was my tried-and-true technique for dealing with anything that got in my way. I needed to get s**t-faced.”

When the comedown set in a few days later, Sarah realised that having a baby might be her ticket to turning her life around. 

“I knew I wasn’t going to be able to forgive myself if I didn’t make the right choice,” she says. “I quit drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes right then. 

“I was keeping my baby and needed to look after myself. I reconnected with my family and was excited to have a beautiful little boy.”

Three months after his birth in October 2018, Sarah was offered a line of coke at a friend’s house and relapsed, saying “the drug got its claws back into her”.

“One day I was out shopping to get my son some pyjamas,” she recalls. “They were £7, but I didn’t have £7 to spend. 

“’You’ve just put £700 up your nose and owe all this money to your dealer but you don’t have £7 to buy your son a pair of pyjamas’, I thought.

“I felt disgusted with myself and deeply ashamed.”

Her addiction rocketed during the Covid-19 lockdown and exacerbated the struggles she was facing as a single mum. 

But in 2021, Sarah decided to get clean once and for all. 

She visited a clinical hypnotherapist who specialised in addiction and has since gone on to become a professional recovery coach. 

“I’m living proof that you can come back from a state of hell and be okay,” she says.

“I thank God for my son every day. I couldn’t have done any of this without him. 

“We’re a team, and I’m a good mum.”