7 NSFW Christmas Movies — & Where to Stream
With the holiday season upon us, movies like Elf, Miracle on 34th Street, A Christmas Story, Home Alone, and many other family-friendly classics gain their annual moment in the spotlight. While these movies boast Christmas spirit, lessons about family, and the real meaning of the holiday outside its rampant commercialization, they don’t exactly have any bite. They’re sweet and saccharine. Cutesy and cuddly. Merry and mythical. Sometimes, we want a little craziness with our Christmas — a hot-tempered hooligan or a bunch of manic moms will do. So, if you’re the kind of person who likes adult-themed Christmas movies with some NSFW scenes and fiery explosions, we’ve got you covered with a Christmas watch list suitable for your gritty needs.
‘Bad Santa’ 2003 | Paramount Plus
Billy Bob Thornton is perfectly cast as the crotchety Willie T. Stokes, who reunites with his partner (Tony Cox) once a year for a holiday con. Posing as a mall Santa and his devoted elf, respectively, they rip off shopping outlets on Christmas Eve. However, Willie is falling apart this year; he’s an alcoholic with an all-encompassing pessimistic perspective on life. His boss is looking for an excuse to fire him. Yet, what do you write on a paper about a sex-obsessed, erratic, drunk-driving, foul-mouthed Santa?
When Willie befriends an innocent young kid, an unlikely bond may change Willie’s outlook for good. Blending outright vulgarity with a satirical take on the holiday’s commercialization, the film is a critically acclaimed subversive approach to the holiday movie. Thornton excels as the crude and irreverent antihero across from the endlessly curious and incessantly gabbing pre-adolescent.
‘A Bad Mom’s Christmas’ 2017 | Prime Video
A Christmas-themed sequel to the 2016 film Bad Moms starring the loveable trifecta Kathryn Hahn, Mila Kunis, and Kristen Bell, this movie ups the ante by introducing their makers — Susan Sarandon, Christine Baranski, and Cheryl Hines, respectively —who drop in unexpectedly for the holidays. Our three overstressed moms navigate holiday chaos and eventually decide to rebel against the unattainable expectations — no matter what mama has to say about it.
Each protagonist embodies a different type of mother with comedic exaggeration, giving way to humorous scenes based on quirks and recognizable two-dimensionalities. Their mothers are just as, if not more so, stereotypical “types” — the crude and carefree (Sarandon), the nit-picky perfectionist who’s never satisfied (Baranski), and the helicopter mom who’s too involved in her daughter’s business (Cheryl Hines). Ridiculous shenanigans and silly exchanges define this hurried sequel, but it makes up for what it lacks in purpose with a seasoned cast adept at selling its one-liners.
‘Office Christmas Party’ 2016 | Prime Video
When the company CEO (a straight-laced and responsible Jennifer Aniston) tries to close her brother’s (T.J. Miller) hard-partying branch, he and his Chief Technical Officer (Jason Bateman) rally their coworkers to throw an epic, no-holds-barred Christmas party to impress a potential client and close a sale that will save their jobs.
Let’s just say furniture goes flying out the window, alcohol is unlimited, drugs make their way to the dancefloor, T.J Miller goes sledding down the staircase, and sexual interactions happen right out on the disco round…oh, and a moose drinks out of the toilet. It’s utterly ridiculous with no real reason to exist outside its mission to achieve absurdity. While it may get a bit old at times, the film boasts some unexpected chuckles and a cast too talented for its simple premise.
‘Violent Night’ 2022 | Prime Video
Let’s just say the word “violent” does not even begin to suggest the level of blood-splattering gruesomeness inherent to this movie. When an elite team of mercenaries breaks into a family compound on Christmas Eve, taking everyone inside hostage, Santa Claus (David Harbour) becomes the highly-skilled combatant they could have never anticipated. Ol’ St. Nick isn’t always so saintly.
Whether head-butting the baddies or stuffing a stocking with pool balls and concussing them, Santa has one hell of a fighter spirit. All the mercenaries are on his naughty list, and he’s going to punish them once and for all. They’re not getting coal. They’re getting stabbed and choked with Christmas decorations. Yet, despite all the stomach-churning violence, it is a story about good conquering evil at the end of the day.
‘The Night Before’ 2015 | Tubi
Lifelong buddies Ethan (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), Isaac (Seth Rogen), and Chris (Anthony Mackie) have been gathering for Christmas Eve for the last decade— to celebrate the holiday with a raucous bang. Yet, as Isaac prepares to become a first-time father, this trio realizes that their crazy Christmas days are coming to an end. They plan a night of debauchery by searching for the Nutcracka Ball, the Holy Grail of NYC Christmas parties, to send Isaac off (bye-bye bros and ho ho hoes; hello sons and daughters). It’s sweet and crude all at once. Simple and stupid, but nutty and erratic enough to keep you entertained. It’s an off-the-wall modern holiday movie with a strong ensemble.
‘A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas’ 2011 | Prime Video
It’s been six years since stoner buds Harold (John Cho) and Kumar’s (Kal Penn) last wild adventure. They’ve grown apart, and they have found new friends. However, when a mysterious package belonging to Harold arrives on Kumar’s doorstep, Kumar’s attempt to redirect the package goes up in smoke — along with a prized Christmas Tree belonging to Harold’s father-in-law. A series of misadventures follow suit when they take to NYC to find a replacement tree. Let’s just say Harold accidentally shoots Santa out of the sky. If you’re looking for a raunchy and irreverent holiday movie with an equally flagrant and festive spirit — this crude flick is for you.
‘Die Hard’ 1988 | Hulu
It’s a Christmas movie to us, and this entry will not focus on arguing that point. Die Hard follows a tough-as-nails New York City Police Officer (Bruce Willis), who works to save his estranged wife and many other innocents taken hostage by terrorists during a Christmas party. With a wisecrack up his sleeve, a latent vulnerability, and an intense physicality, Bruce Willis’s take on John McClane in the ‘80s classic laid the foundation for his long-lasting career as an action hero.
With a seamless blend of action and humor, the film is known for its gritty and realistic portrayal of a lone hero (one who was untraditionally flawed and not invincible) facing overwhelming odds. Boasting a claustrophobic atmosphere — as McClane is trapped within the confines of a skyscraper (and later within the air ducts of the building) — the Christmas decor adds an ironic touch to the film: with holiday aesthetics juxtaposed against the violence and chaos.